illusion_is_mine: (link 2)
Last night I played a round of Dark Souls 2, and the game completely obliterated me.  I was really trying to learn about how the leveling up works, the inventory, and overall combat.  Overall it was just a practice run, but It really makes me realize how long it takes you to get better at that game overall.  I'll be taking a break from it since I pre-ordered Super Mario Odyssey for the the Nintendo Switch, but it was good to get some practice in.  

I did manage to take Mass Effect 2 back to get a refund on Saturday to Half-Priced books. I ended up picking up Killzone (PS2), and 2 CD's: AFI's "Sing the Sorrow" since I'd been intending to buy it for years, and never gotten around to it until now, as well as MeWithoutYou's "Pale Horses".   I also ordered Trivium's "The Sin and the Sentence" from Amazon.  

Since I read about this anyone hear about Jessicka Addam's from Jack Off Jill's FB post basically saying that Twiggy Ramirez a.k.a. (Jeordie White) of Marilyn Manson, and a Perfect Circle raped her while they were dating?  I thought i was very heartbreaking.  I sort of had an idea since she indicated it in a few JOJ songs, but I had no idea what actually happened.  My heart goes out to her, and any victims of sexual assault.

Speaking of that one of the huge gaming forums Neo-Gaf shut down recently because apparently the site owner was accused of sexual assault.  Apparently most of the mods jumped ship after the news was released, and many people who frequented the forum asked to be perma-banned.  I mainly just lurked on the gaming news side of that forum, but never joined.  I heard it was really hard to join anyway because they had very strict requirements for joining.  I'm glad I never did after hearing about these allegations.  They were also a bit of an echo chamber when it came to certain topics.  They would ban people for having different viewpoints from the mods which is pretty idiotic.  I sort of understand why they were so strict, but it got ridiculous after a certain point, and then this happens.  

I do hope they out all these sexual predators in the entertainment business though because it's just horrible how often this happens.  Really it happens everywhere, but you get what I mean. 

Today I'll probably play a few games, listen to music, and just chill since it's Monday.  I'll catch you guys later.  
illusion_is_mine: (The Crow: Eric Draven)
    Our relatives from Colorado are visiting this weekend, and they're gone out with my mom to a bunch of places I guess.  I don't know but I'm still very salty about how they treated us when we went to Panama this summer.  I know I shouldn't hold grudges, but They basically left us hanging in a foreign country, and had a guy basically screw us out of a lot of money for transportation, among other shady things. 
Read more... )
much better than their last record.  :D

illusion_is_mine: (Fallout: Vault Boy)
     My, and I went to the bookstore yesterday, and I found a couple of finds.  I got KMFDM's "Nihil" and a used PC copy of Mass Effect 2 with a working serial number for about $10, and an XB1 controller to use on my PC. 

     I mentioned to my mom about how stand-offish I realized everyone is now-a-days.  Especially younger people close to my age.  I walked in the CD/LP section, and this guy had earbuds in.  I mean I get wanted to be alone or whatever, but I hate how no one talks to anybody anymore.  I say this as someone with social anxiety because I'm realizing that it's a societal issue.  If no one communicates with anyone how will people be able to find common ground?  It's just something that's been bugging me lately.  That's why I mentioned it.  I've also heard people who come to Texas for the first time mention how "nice" everyone is here.  I don't see it myself, but maybe where they're from people are worse?  Honestly I think that's horrible, and people need to be more open to each other.

That aside I had a good shopping trip with my mom, and it was an overall peaceful day.  

On a side note I think I have a crush on this guy at work.  He just started working there about a few weeks ago.  He's really nice, and he smiled at me once.  That's what started it really...lmao.  He's really cute, and he doesn't seem jaded, and angry like most of the other people at my job.  He's got a whole different vibe about him, and I think it's great.  Hopefully I'll be able to work up the nerve to talk to him. :/

Right now I'm testing the desktop computer in our living room to see if I could get it to run Mass Effect 2 on it.  I was able to get it to run on my labtop, but it had some issues so I figured it would be better to test it on the other computer since it has a better graphics card installed. We'll see how it goes since I'm installing it as we speak.   It seems that I couldn't get the game to run probably on our other computer, and doing a few quick searches I found out that a lot of people were having trouble running that game.  Either way I'm taking it back, and getting a refund.  
illusion_is_mine: (The Crow: Eric Draven)
 This week was exhausting at work, and I'm glad I have a few days off to recuperate from it.  I don't have much to post about today, but I bought the new album by the band Citizen "As You Please" on vinyl recently and I figured I'd post one of the songs I'm enjoying.  They've sort of been compared to the Brand New a bit, but I think at this point they've started developing their own sound.  I'll be sure to take a picture of the record when I get it because it's colored vinyl.  I'm really enjoying this record so far.  Here's one of the songs I like off the album.  

Yes, I know my personality, and taste is part goth, and part emo/sad girl.  What can I say?  I love sad/depressing music for some reason.  I think I'm more drawn to how the emotions are conveyed in this type of music more than anything. 

illusion_is_mine: (Default)
     Yesterday mom and I went to the store to get some groceries. I've been trying to eat healthier since I found out I had high blood pressure. I haven't been too successful because I kept falling back into my old eating habits. This time though I'm going about it seriously because I'm tired of eating food that's generally unhealthy, and makes me feel awful. I ended up getting fruits, salad, grilled chicken, and other healthy things that I could take for my lunch at work. I think this is really going to help me feel better overall, as well as help keep my body healthy. I will say that eating healthy can be expensive though. That being said I think it will help me have more energy, and feel better in the long run so I'm going to try it for a while and see how it goes. I'm not cutting out everything I like completely just cutting back a bit on the unhealthy food. I will admit I splurged on chocolate last night though xD!

     As for other stuff I've been playing a few new games lately. I bought Yakuza Kiwami yesterday at Walmart, and Cuphead on steam for PC about a day or so ago. Cuphead is amazing! I love the 2D animation, and the whole 1930's style cartoon look the game has. Since I did animation in school this game is such a joy to look at, and play. I've been playing a few more indie titles lately, and I've been enjoying them quite a bit. The studio who did Cuphead really outdid themselves.

     As for Yakuza Kiwami I started it yesterday, and it's really fun. I ended up getting the steel book edition, and the back cover design is really beautiful. It's a very nice looking beat em' up type game and Kiryu (main character) is such a likable guy that it's easy to enjoy the overall story of the game. I'm loving the amount of detail on the character models in that game, as well as the gameplay. Overall I think it's a great game so far.  As for Nintendo Switch games I'm looking forward to that are coming up Super Mario Odysessy, and Xenoblade Chronicles 2 are absolute must buys for me.  I also kinda want Stardew Valley that comes out on Oct 5th for the Switch, but I'll probably get that one later since I've started some other games.

Also I managed to login to my old deviantart account.  Take a look if you're interested in seeing my artwork!  I still need to add more new stuff on there.

     I also got a few new CD's from Pvris, and Klimt 1918 (Italian post-punk band) recently, and they're both super nice.  In fact I need to rip them both to my computer right now.  That's it for now. :)

illusion_is_mine: (Wonder Woman)
Well I've been sick with a nasty stomach virus for the past few days.  Today is the first day that I don't feel completely awful so I think it's run it's course.  I basically slept most of the day yesterday, and last night.  I'm feeling a bit better today at least.  

As for other things I've started playing Half-Life 2 on steam, and I'm enjoying it so far.  I've been meaning to play this game for a while since I enjoy quite a few fps games, but I don't have an Xbox, or a PS3 so I figured I'd play it on PC.  It's probably one of the most enjoyable experiences I've had with an older fps game.  I played it for a few hours yesterday, and plan on playing it a bit today.

As for other things I bought a new set of drawing pencils so I plan on drawing more stuff again.  I go through long periods of artist block due to depression, but I finally feel like I want to start drawing again.  Art school actually sort of burned me out on doing my own work as well since I was working so hard to finish my portfolio.  I'm glad I got past that phase a bit, and I plan to start some new projects soon.

That's all for now.  I'm going to go browse youtube, and play a few games.  

illusion_is_mine: (Sandman: death)
Well this week was somewhat frustrating, but such is life.  I've been having some issues with money due to student loans, but I've been budgeting as much as I can.  No new video games for a little while anyway.  I also found out that the company that has my students loans is being sued by the federal government in a class action lawsuit.  I hope those fuckers loose the lawsuit, and I can some relief from these loans.  It'll probably take quite a few years before everything plays out.  Apparently a lot of people have been having issues with them, and they've committed fraud against a bunch of customers.   

That aside I went to pick up my niece from work the other day, and a small rock hit my windshield cracking it glass. D:  I have to figure out how I'm going to get that fixed.  Ugh, I swear it's so frustrating.  I'll have to call my insurance company, and see what they say about it.  

As for fandom type things I've been getting caught up on Dragon Ball Z.  I used my amazon gift card to buy Season 5 recently.  Also I've still been playing Fallout New Vegas, and I like it a lot more than Fallout 4.  It has more RPG elements than FO4, and isn't just mindless shooting just for the hell of it.  I also bought my friend Ocarina of Time for her DS, and she loves it.  I was glad I was able to get her gift to her on her birthday.  

I've also been playing lots of Nier Automata lately, and the plot is taking a very interesting turn.  I'm really enjoying the game, and I'm glad I bought it. 

My anxiety has been a bit better as of late.  I don't find myself getting anxious nearly as much.  I do wonder if I'm becoming apathetic towards people though.  I find myself having that "I don't give a shit" attitude a lot more lately than usual.  I asked my mom about it, and she said she doesn't think I'm becoming apathetic which is good.  I don't want to be, but some people really annoy me sometimes.  

Well that's all for now.  Here's a song I've had on repeat lately from the new Brand New record.  

16 Psyche

Sep. 11th, 2017 11:34 am
illusion_is_mine: (Default)
 I don't have much to add this week, but I'll post this music video by Chelsea Wolfe since I've been listening to her new album.  She's a singer/songwriter from California, and I've been listening to her for a little while now.  Her music is insanely good, and her acoustic stuff is really beautiful.  I can't really describe it genre-wise, but if I had to it would be Doom metal/dark folk.  Her voice is really ethereal, and fits the music very well.  Also this video reminds me of that movie "Jacob's Ladder."

illusion_is_mine: (Fallout: pinup girl)
 My grandpa's funeral turned out to be really nice.  He was a veteran that fought in Vietnam so he had a military burial, and they gave my aunt a US flag, and did the whole folding of the flag.  I will point out that religious funerals are always strange to me since I'm not religious at all.  I'm agnostic so I don't have a problem with it completely, but it's still strange to me.  I mean the eulogy the pastor gave didn't really count as a eulogy to me.  It was just telling people that they need to "get right" before their time comes.  I sort of have cognitive dissonance when it comes things like that.  Most people here are religious, and I can't say anything about it without it turning to an argument so I just keep it to myself.  

After the burial I decided to go home, and chill.  I'd had my fill of dealing with people all yesterday, and needed some alone time to sort out my thoughts.  I also played a bit of Nier Automata, and Fallout 4.  I'm not sure why I still play FO4 at this point because I think the story is pretty lame, but I guess I just want to finish the game, and loot  I also started playing Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga, and I've been enjoying it so far.  I feel like I'm finally getting the hang of the battle system in SMT games which makes me happy.  

As for Nier I kept getting my ass handed to me by this boss in particular.  I'm playing it in Normal mode, and this boss is still quite difficult.  I've almost got it though.  I think I'll try my hand it again today.  I plan on spending much needed quality time with this game for a while.  

illusion_is_mine: (Robert Smith)
 My grandfather passed away a couple of days ago.  I'm actually doing okay right now.  I think the funeral will be the hardest thing for me to deal with.  The funeral is next friday so I plan on taking next week off.  Along with that my brother has been acting stupid.  He was acting like he was going to fight my dad over something really dumb.  Basically all my brother cares about is money, and he doesn't have a job despite the fact he has 2 kids.  My dad went over my grandpa's house to get the keys to his van because my aunt told him to.  Needless to say my brother flipped out, and claimed that no one cares about him, and that he didn't get anything when my grandmother passed.  Wtf?  I mean I'd rather have my grandparents here than have money, but maybe that's just me.  He's always been a selfish POS tbh.  You can't choose your family unfortunately. 
illusion_is_mine: (Fallout: pinup girl)
This week has sort of been up and down.  My parents found out Sunday night that my grandfather isn't expected to live that long.  His kidney's are failing him, and he has a whole other slew of problems.  He's come out of really bad illnesses before so I'm hoping he recovers, and I'm trying to stay positive.  In the back of my mind though I've also been preparing for the worst.  

My friend called me that night I found out after I told her over text.  She told me the reason she hasn't been able to stay in contact is because she's had some deaths in the family, and her dog died.  She thought that I hated her, but I reassured her that I didn't hate her.  I figured that she had something serious going on in her family.  I'm glad we were able to reconnect, because I didn't know if she would contact me again.

All that aside I've been doing okay.  I've been mostly trying to take my mind off of everything by gaming, and reading.  I bought Sonic Mania recently, and I've been enjoying playing that.  It also made me want to play Sonic Colors so I plugged up the Wii, and played that along with Metroid Prime 3: Corruption, and Fallout 4 yesterday.  

Did anyone see the eclipse yesterday here in the US?  I manged to put together one of those shoebox pinhole viewers and got to see it.  It was pretty cool.  I'd never done something like that before so it was really enjoyable.  

Oh yeah, my car insurance company sent me a check yesterday.  I guess they won the case where they sued the company of the lady that hit me in that bad accident.  I wasn't expecting anything so I'm glad it all worked out in the end. :)

I hope everyone has a great week.
illusion_is_mine: (Angel Sanctuary)
So this happened last week (tw: violence.) 

It's incredibly sad that things have come to this.  The fact that Neo Nazi groups can march in the streets, and harm people and our sorry excuse for a President won't call them what they are.  It's incredibly frustrating seeing this all unfold.  It also makes me afraid of the inevitable violence that might take place in the future after this. I do not understand people with this much hate in their hearts for whole groups of people.  It must be a miserable existence.  

In a way I saw it coming with the rise of MRA's/MGTOW/The Red Pill and similar groups that were literally being recruited on reddit before the election took place.  All these groups are connected make no mistake.  They share a similar hatred for women, minorities, LGBTQ, and others that are not like them.  Stormfront was literally going on these subs and recruiting members for their cause.  They've been planning this for a while.  It's still awful to see it take place in real time.  I feel like I'm stuck in a time warp back into the 1950's.  Also Texas has the highest concentration of hate groups out of any state in the US. That makes me very afraid.  I don't want to live in fear, but it seems we've reached that point in our country.  
illusion_is_mine: (Haikyuu!! - Hinata)
 So In my previous post I said I would talk about my trip to Panama, but I think I'll just mention a few things that happened to make it a bit easier.  I'll use bullet points even.  
  • We got caught in a tourist trap as soon as we got there, and some douche driver decided to charge us $20 a day (for each person) every time he took us anywhere.  He was supposed to be a friend of the family, some friend eh?  
  • The beach was beautiful, and a guy riding a horse on the beach kept trying to get me to ride the  Anyone who knows me knows I'm deathly afraid of horses.  I'm not sure why, but I always have been.  Anyway the guy was like "You scared amiga?  Don't be scared!  You want ride the horsie."  To which I just kept shaking my head
  • Lots of communication issues due to the fact that my Spanish is pretty awful.  Luckily for most of the trip we did have Spanish speakers with us during the duration of the trip.
  • At one point the relative who hired douche driver had us waiting at her cousin's house for her brother to fly in from Miami.  His plane was delayed, and they didn't know when he was coming.  After 4 hours of waiting we got tired of waiting, and asked if they could just have a shuttle take us to the resort.  
  • I really don't like Panamanian food at all, and neither did my stomach.  Everyone in our group got sick of it by the end of the trip, and had stomach issues when we got home.
  • The food I did enjoy was at this really nice Panamanian restaurant that my grandmother's sister, and her sons took us to.  The food was really good, and that's where I had that delicious hamburger (cause I'm a loser american.) 
  • The locals there were surprisingly really friendly, and would talk to you assuming you knew how to speak Spanish.  It's such a diverse country with so many different cultures that they automatically assume you speak Spanish no matter how you look.  
  • The scenery was really amazingly beautiful, and I really miss it.
  • My dad got emotional when he went to the old house he grew up in.  I've never seen him cry, but he cried when talking about it.  He told me that his mom must have went through so much to bring them to the US.  She was only 21 when she brought them to the states.
  • My sister bought lots of great souvenirs, and I bought some good stuff too despite my limited funds.
  • The disparity between the rich in the poor in Panama is huge, and you can really see it.  It was a huge wake up call for me about how much we really take for granted in the US.  There were really young kids on the street begging for money.  It was very eye opening.  
  • Electronics in Panama are really expensive, and I noticed that they had older model TV's in the resort hotel rooms.  The video games there are ridiculously expensive ($76 for a Nintendo Switch game), and even though they had a really nice looking video game shop in the mall, it was practically vacant.  
  • The family reunion was nice, and it was cool meeting family I'd never met before.  Apparently there was a relative from Germany who came all the way to Panama.  
  • Overall I had a great time despite a few issues we had.  It's a very beautiful country, and I'd like to visit it again and see more of it.  
illusion_is_mine: (Fallout: Vault Boy)
 Here are some pictures from the vacation in Panama.  I won't post them all because it's too many, but I'll post the best ones with brief descriptions.  I'll post a text post of how my trip went following this post within a day or so.  I have to make sure I can remember everything XD!  
Read more... )

illusion_is_mine: (Default)
 I finally got back today at around noon.  Since they're time is an hour behind, and most of us didn't sleep the night before we were all super exhausted.  Our plane left at 5am this morning, and we had to be at the airport at 1am.  We caught a shuttle from the resort to the airport, and reminisced, about the trip a bit.  It was a good experience.  I wouldn't say I would go back anytime soon, but I'm glad I went.  I'll post pictures probably tomorrow when I'm more rested.  Until then I hope everyone is doing okay. 
illusion_is_mine: (Default)
 My plane flies out tomorrow, and as of Tuesday night I will officially be in Panama.  We have a hold over flight in El Salvador for about an hour, and I'm taking my Gameboy to pass the time.  I'm done packing, and today I'm just going to chill, and play a few video games.  I'm really excited guys!  This will officially be the first time I'm leaving the US.  I will definitely post lots of pics of pics on my journal when I get back.  I will see you all in a week.  :)

I will be updating on my twitter if anyone wants to follow me there.  I have it locked so as soon as you add me I'll add you back as long as I know who you are. :)

illusion_is_mine: (Default)
     So my trip to Panama will be a week from now, and I'm pretty excited!  I've never been outside the US before so this should be an awesome experience for me.  We'll spend the first 2 days at a hotel, and from there we go to the resort.  I believe this is some sort of family reunion so I'm looking forward to meeting family I've never met before.  My coworker told me to watch Spanish novellas to brush up on my Spanish.  

     Even if I don't get a chance to watch any I'm sure I'll do fine.  I remember a little bit of Spanish, and I was able to converse with my great grandmother when she came here to visit years ago despite her not speaking English.  I'm looking forward to doing all the touristy stuff, and seeing as much as I can see.  My parents and I are going with about 7 other family members including my sister, and a cousin I've met from Colorado who's about my age.  Needless to say I plan on enjoying my vacation, and making the most of it.

     In other news I watched Season 1 of the new Castlevania series on Netflix yesterday, and it's really good!  I really like the animation, and the plot is really good so far.  I'm also a fan of the games so this was right up my ally.  Here's a trailer.

Also I got a email yesterday about Hulu acquiring HBO which is cool.  I'm considering buying the service with my Hulu account, but only after I come back from the trip.  Apparently the first month is free so that's why I'm waiting until after I get back from the trip to decide if I want to do it or not. 
illusion_is_mine: (Siouxsie)
Well I'm still a bit sick from last week, but I'm recovering. I went to pick up some of my meds today at the store, and pick up a few things. My sister went to Vegas over the weekend, and her facebook posts imply that she had a blast. It makes me look forward to our upcoming trip to Panama even more. I believe I've gotten everything I'll need as far as luggage, clothes, and other things I'll be taking on the trip.

I called about my student loans which I've been having trouble paying, and they informed me that they wouldn't actually help me until my account was behind for 15 days which is ridiculous.  It's a shame they want you to get behind, and be in trouble before they will help you.  I guess I'll just have to do that.  I'll probably just pay what I can, and when they call hopefully they can lower my interest rates, and payments for those particular loans.  Sigh...

I've been trying to avoid going outside anymore today because my dad is mowing the lawn, and allergies are no joke. As far as other things go I've been playing a few games. Mainly Persona 5, Chrono Trigger, God of War, Batman: Arkham Knight, and Metro 2033 Redux. Apparently Metro is based on a book of the same name, and the story is a bit sad. It's a survival horror game so avoided playing it the few days I was really sick since my reflexes weren't too great. I also bought a digital copy of Resident Evil 5 for pretty cheap on PSN.

Well that's it for now. Here's a song of some music I've been digging lately. I've been on a huge Depeche Mode kick lately since I picked up their "Ultra" album. That bassline tho! <3

illusion_is_mine: (Angel Sanctuary)
 So somehow I've been dealing with the side effects of the Hepatitis B vaccine after getting it yesterday at the doctor's office.  Needless to say I'm feeling sick, and overall very crappy, but I'm hoping this will pass in a few days.  Ugh, I feel awful.  I'll probably spend the rest of the day either watching anime, or reading.  I do need to continue reading "American Gods", as well as a few comics, and manga I got during my birthday.  
illusion_is_mine: (The Crow: Eric Draven)
     Here's a post that isn't completely about E3.  This morning I got up, and called my doctor because I could have sworn I had an appointment this morning, and they hadn't called or notified me.  It turns out my doctor's appointment isn't until next Wednesday.  After that I went back to sleep for a little while, and got up to make me some coffee.  I did a few chores, and checked my emails an social media stuff.  

     I've been reading a bit lately.  Mostly some of the Wonder Woman Rebirth comics, as well as "American Gods" by Neil Gaiman.  My friend bought a limited edition version of American Gods for X-mas, and I've just now gotten into reading it.  It's really interesting.  I caught a glimpse of the series, and now I think I'm just going to read the book before I watch the show.  

     As for music I've been listening to all sorts of stuff.  I've been on a doom metal kick so lately it's been lots of Type O Negative, Pallbearer, and other stuff like Siouxsie and the Banshees as well as a newer band called Priests that are pretty good.  I finally bought an actual copy of Type O's "October Rust" album.  I love that album, and I've been meaning to get it for a while since I already have "Bloody Kisses", and "Life is Killing Me."  

     I saw the teaser trailer for the Black Panther movie, and it looks like it's going to be really good!  It has a great cast, and the visuals so far look great.  It's nice to see a mostly black cast in a super hero film honestly.  It's a breath of fresh air tbh.  I know everyone is still hype about Wonder Woman which was pretty good, but I think marvel has a few tricks up their sleeves with the Black Panther movie.  I'm looking forward to it.  :)

     As for gaming I've been playing Final Fantasy XV since I really need to beat that game.  I realized after my party went to a certain area to complete one of the smaller quests that every time we showed up in that area imperial ships were lurking around.  I mean seriously every time I went  Needless to say I'm debating weather or not I'm going to complete this quest now or just wait until we've all leveled up a bit.  I've also been playing lots of Persona 5, and Persona 3.  I feel like I'm getting the hang of everything better at this point.  I took a bit of a break from P5 for a while because it's such a long game, and I know I'll be playing it for a while.

     Also obliterary Mario Odyssey trailer because I'm in awe with how beautiful this game looks.  This will probably be Mario 64 levels of awesome.  I'm calling it.  
Mario trailer under the cut )


illusion_is_mine: (Default)


I'm a 32 year old woman. I'm an artist, and I'm into the Gothic subculture. Things that I enjoy include but are not limited to 80's Music, Reading, Drawing, Animation, Playing bass guitar, Gothic rock, indie music, horror films, anime, comics, video games, and sci-fi novels. I don't know what I'd do without music, and art. I listen to Siouxsie and the Banshees way more than I should.