illusion_is_mine (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
illusion_is_mine) wrote2016-01-13 10:18 am
illusion_is_mine) wrote2016-01-13 10:18 am
Entry tags:
on the road to recovery
My therapy session this week went well. It was my last session at least until next month mainly because my insurance only pays for 8 sessions. If I want to continue therapy I have to pay out of pocket, and it's rather expensive. I did talk to my therapist about maybe only seeing her once a month since it is so expensive. She told me to get back with her, and let her know if that's what I want to do.
I went to the regular doctor on Monday to have just a regular check up, and for them to test me for depression. The test was done on a computer, and they ask you a ton of questions. When I got my results back the doctor told me that I have severe depression. I knew it was bad, but I honestly didn't expect it to be that bad. They prescribed me Cymbalta, which I started taking yesterday. She informed me that I won't see any changes right away, and that it will take a few weeks to see real results. I was very leery about getting back on meds, but if my depression is that bad then I'm willing to try medication.
I sort of came out to my mom. Her reaction was actually really positive. She told me that there's nothing I could to to make her stop loving me, and that she just wants me to be happy. I was so relieved finally telling her because we're really close, and I tell her almost anything. It felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, and I don't feel this huge burden to live up to anyone's expectations of what I should be. I sort of told my friend too, but in a round-a-bout way. I'm probably not going to tell anyone else in my family though. Mainly because I'm still not sure of where I fall in the spectrum honestly. My main priority right now is to improve my mental health. I can deal with everything else after that.
I was at the doctor's office when I found out that David Bowie past away. It's so terribly tragic that he died of cancer. Cancer has killed so many people, and animals. They said he knew 8 months ago that he had it, and I guess he was preparing. It's so crazy how the album he released last week is sort of like his goodbye. Life is really a fragile thing it seems.
I went to the regular doctor on Monday to have just a regular check up, and for them to test me for depression. The test was done on a computer, and they ask you a ton of questions. When I got my results back the doctor told me that I have severe depression. I knew it was bad, but I honestly didn't expect it to be that bad. They prescribed me Cymbalta, which I started taking yesterday. She informed me that I won't see any changes right away, and that it will take a few weeks to see real results. I was very leery about getting back on meds, but if my depression is that bad then I'm willing to try medication.
I sort of came out to my mom. Her reaction was actually really positive. She told me that there's nothing I could to to make her stop loving me, and that she just wants me to be happy. I was so relieved finally telling her because we're really close, and I tell her almost anything. It felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, and I don't feel this huge burden to live up to anyone's expectations of what I should be. I sort of told my friend too, but in a round-a-bout way. I'm probably not going to tell anyone else in my family though. Mainly because I'm still not sure of where I fall in the spectrum honestly. My main priority right now is to improve my mental health. I can deal with everything else after that.
I was at the doctor's office when I found out that David Bowie past away. It's so terribly tragic that he died of cancer. Cancer has killed so many people, and animals. They said he knew 8 months ago that he had it, and I guess he was preparing. It's so crazy how the album he released last week is sort of like his goodbye. Life is really a fragile thing it seems.