illusion_is_mine: (Default)
 This week was good.  I've been trying to get used to this new medication.  With the exception of the first day I took it I haven't had any problems with it.  In fact I think it's working a lot better than the medication I was previously on which is good. 

Yesterday I did a little bit of shopping with my mom.  I ended up buying a new sketchbook, pencils, and I want to start doing some serious artwork again.  I think I'll try to channel what I"m feeling through my artwork.  I discussed this with my therapist a few weeks ago, and she thought it would be a great idea.  It's grey sketch paper so I'll probably use charcoal pencils, and experiment a bit with some sketches.  

I was eyeing a few vinyl records at the bookstore, but the one I wanted was more than I wanted to pay so I decided to pass on it.  



As for music I bought the new David Bowie album yesterday as well.  I was surprised they actually had a bunch of copies at Target.  I chalk it up to people around here not being too keen on his music, or the fact that many of them aren't familiar with who he is maybe.  Obviously I've been on a huge Bowie kick since his unexpected passing last week.  I heard that his last album sold more copies than the Adele album which is pretty awesome.  I'm surprised at how many people are just now discovering his music.  I think I got into him after listening to Ziggy Stardust a year or so ago, and being blow away by how great it was.  The video for Blackstar is very unusual, but that's Bowie for you. 

I also found this great mtv interview from 1982 where he called them out on not playing any black artists on MTV.  He's judging the hell out of this guy, and I don't blame him at all.  


I like how they zoom in on his face at the end to put emphasis on how much he's judging this dude.  lol.  

illusion_is_mine: (inuyasha)
     My therapy session this week went well.  It was my last session at least until next month mainly because my insurance only pays for 8 sessions.  If I want to continue therapy I have to pay out of pocket,  and it's rather expensive.  I did talk to my therapist about maybe only seeing her once a month since it is so expensive.  She told me to get back with her, and let her know if that's what I want to do.  

     I went to the regular doctor on Monday to have just a regular check up, and for them to test me for depression.  The test was done on a computer, and they ask you a ton of questions.  When I got my results back the doctor told me that I have severe depression.  I knew it was bad, but I honestly didn't expect it to be that bad.  They prescribed me Cymbalta, which I started taking yesterday.  She informed me that I won't see any changes right away, and that it will take a few weeks to see real results.  I was very leery about getting back on meds, but if my depression is that bad then I'm willing to try medication.  

     I sort of came out to my mom.  Her reaction was actually really positive.  She told me that there's nothing I could to to make her stop loving me, and that she just wants me to be happy.  I was so relieved finally telling her because we're really close, and I tell her almost anything.  It felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, and I don't feel this huge burden to live up to anyone's expectations of what I should be.  I sort of told my friend too, but in a round-a-bout way.  I'm probably not going to tell anyone else in my family though.  Mainly because I'm still not sure of where I fall in the spectrum honestly.  My main priority right now is to improve my mental health.  I can deal with everything else after that.   

    I was at the doctor's office when I found out that David Bowie past away.  It's so terribly tragic that he died of cancer.  Cancer has killed so many people, and animals.  They said he knew 8 months ago that he had it, and I guess he was preparing.  It's so crazy how the album he released last week is sort of like his goodbye.  Life is really a fragile thing it seems. 

Profile

illusion_is_mine: (Default)
illusion_is_mine

About

I'm a 32 year old woman. I'm an artist, and I'm into the Gothic subculture. Things that I enjoy include but are not limited to 80's Music, Reading, Drawing, Animation, Playing bass guitar, Gothic rock, indie music, horror films, anime, comics, video games, and sci-fi novels. I don't know what I'd do without music, and art. I listen to Siouxsie and the Banshees way more than I should.