illusion_is_mine

Hello everyone!

     This will be a pretty serious post.  I told my therapist today that I've been questioning my sexuality.  She believes that this is the root of my depression, and that if I don't address it then I can't really deal with my depression.  Me questioning my sexuality has been something I've experienced since high-school.  If you know anything about living in the Southern United States you know how extremely homophobic people can be in the is part of the country.  Honestly it's something that I haven't really dealt with until now.  I just kept putting it in the back of my mind.  That maybe I just don't like any of the guys at my high-school, or maybe I'll meet the right guy eventually.  But here lately I've been considering that this may have been the issue all along.  

     My therapist told me that when I told her that I looked like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.  I'm still not sure exactly what to classify myself as far as my sexual identity goes, but I do know that I'm not strictly heterosexual.  I've only disclosed this on here, and to my therapist.  My family, or friends have no idea about any of this.  I've done such a good job of hiding it that I don't believe anyone has picked up on it yet.  I do want to come out to some people, but honestly I'm scared.  This is something that I just constantly put in the back of my mind hoping it would go away.  My family has said, and still says some very homophobic shit that I just can't deal with most of the time.  It's the main reason I haven't told anyone else.  So I guess this post will be the first time I've addressed this.  I'm still trying to figure everything out, and I'm not sure about my identity yet.  I just need all the support I can get honestly.