people are stranger when you're a stranger

[illusion_is_mine]

     My, and I went to the bookstore yesterday, and I found a couple of finds.  I got KMFDM's "Nihil" and a used PC copy of Mass Effect 2 with a working serial number for about $10, and an XB1 controller to use on my PC. 

     I mentioned to my mom about how stand-offish I realized everyone is now-a-days.  Especially younger people close to my age.  I walked in the CD/LP section, and this guy had earbuds in.  I mean I get wanted to be alone or whatever, but I hate how no one talks to anybody anymore.  I say this as someone with social anxiety because I'm realizing that it's a societal issue.  If no one communicates with anyone how will people be able to find common ground?  It's just something that's been bugging me lately.  That's why I mentioned it.  I've also heard people who come to Texas for the first time mention how "nice" everyone is here.  I don't see it myself, but maybe where they're from people are worse?  Honestly I think that's horrible, and people need to be more open to each other.

That aside I had a good shopping trip with my mom, and it was an overall peaceful day.  

On a side note I think I have a crush on this guy at work.  He just started working there about a few weeks ago.  He's really nice, and he smiled at me once.  That's what started it really...lmao.  He's really cute, and he doesn't seem jaded, and angry like most of the other people at my job.  He's got a whole different vibe about him, and I think it's great.  Hopefully I'll be able to work up the nerve to talk to him. :/

Right now I'm testing the desktop computer in our living room to see if I could get it to run Mass Effect 2 on it.  I was able to get it to run on my labtop, but it had some issues so I figured it would be better to test it on the other computer since it has a better graphics card installed. We'll see how it goes since I'm installing it as we speak.   It seems that I couldn't get the game to run probably on our other computer, and doing a few quick searches I found out that a lot of people were having trouble running that game.  Either way I'm taking it back, and getting a refund.  

Comments

[alasse_irena]

I am very much unconvinced that people talk to strangers less now than in the past: perhaps the signs that they don't want to get into a conversation are just more obvious (eg earbuds), where previously it would have taken the tone of their reply to let you know they weren't up for a chat right now. I'm pretty sure this is a good thing, because people are not super good at reading into the tone of voice or body language of strangers and putting in earbuds makes everything much clearer.

So perhaps we've replaced a whole lot of brief, polite conversations with silence, but I am not convinced that significant connections were made in those. I don't think anyone reveals much common ground in a chat with a stranger in a public place.

Perhaps this is a region-specific thing, and people are chattier in Australia? So you are seeing a loss of connection that doesn't happen to me? Not sure.

[illusion_is_mine]

I'm sure it's region specific tbh. I've noticed it a lot here in the US, but I'm sure it's different in other places. You do have a point that maybe it's just become more obvious that they don't want to be bothered. I also think it has to do with a change within myself lately. When I was more standoffish, and to myself I never paid it any attention. Now it's becoming way more obvious since I've become a little bit more outgoing I guess. Everyone has unique experiences with this sort of thing so I was just giving my own opinion about it.

[alasse_irena]

Yes, I don't mean to say you're wrong, exactly. Just that the ways we perceive things may have changed rather than actual social change...

I sometimes think there should some kind of colour coded wristband system like for dogs where green is for "feel free to chat, I love meeting people", yellow is for like, " I'm not down for a conversation, but if you need to ask directions or something I'll help out" and red is for "Do not approach, not up for human interaction."

And then people who want to make connections know who's up for it, and people who just want a quiet train ride can get left in peace without having to feel rude shutting someone down.

On 21 Oct 2017 11:04, "illusion_is_mine - DW Comment" < dw_null@dreamwidth.org> wrote:

[image: illusion_is_mine: (Fallout: Vault Boy)] illusion_is_mine https://illusion-is-mine.dreamwidth.org/profile replied to a comment you left in a Dreamwidth entry "people are stranger when you're a stranger" https://illusion-is-mine.dreamwidth.org/57644.html. The comment they replied to was:

I am very much unconvinced that people talk to strangers less now than in the past: perhaps the signs that they don't want to get into a conversation are just more obvious (eg earbuds), where previously it would have taken the tone of their reply to let you know they weren't up for a chat right now. I'm pretty sure this is a good thing, because people are not super good at reading into the tone of voice or body language of strangers and putting in earbuds makes everything much clearer.

So perhaps we've replaced a whole lot of brief, polite conversations with silence, but I am not convinced that significant connections were made in those. I don't think anyone reveals much common ground in a chat with a stranger in a public place.

Perhaps this is a region-specific thing, and people are chattier in Australia? So you are seeing a loss of connection that doesn't happen to me? Not sure.

The reply was:

I'm sure it's region specific tbh. I've noticed it a lot here in the US, but I'm sure it's different in other places. You do have a point that maybe it's just become more obvious that they don't want to be bothered. I also think it has to do with a change within myself lately. When I was more standoffish, and to myself I never paid it any attention. Now it's becoming way more obvious since I've become a little bit more outgoing I guess. Everyone has unique experiences with this sort of thing so I was just giving my own opinion about it.

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[nintendoh]

I think smartphones have caused a little jump in number of headphones you see in public for sure. I get the standoffish thing though, but I see that more online than anywhere else. So much bickering and villainizing and things (which isn't exactly new to the web, as we all know, it just feels like I see it EVERYWHERE now).

Hope you can get up the nerve to talk to the guy! Good luck!

[illusion_is_mine]

Yeah, I've noticed it happening more online than anywhere else. Especially on social media. It's a nightmare even commenting on something because you don't want to rile up anyone, or open up the floodgates so to speak.