illusion_is_mine

 My grandfather passed away a couple of days ago.  I'm actually doing okay right now.  I think the funeral will be the hardest thing for me to deal with.  The funeral is next friday so I plan on taking next week off.  Along with that my brother has been acting stupid.  He was acting like he was going to fight my dad over something really dumb.  Basically all my brother cares about is money, and he doesn't have a job despite the fact he has 2 kids.  My dad went over my grandpa's house to get the keys to his van because my aunt told him to.  Needless to say my brother flipped out, and claimed that no one cares about him, and that he didn't get anything when my grandmother passed.  Wtf?  I mean I'd rather have my grandparents here than have money, but maybe that's just me.  He's always been a selfish POS tbh.  You can't choose your family unfortunately. 

This week was rather exhausting.  It was my first week back to work after my grandmother's funeral so I knew it would be rough.  I also just found out another family member passed away this morning due to surgical complications.  It's been so insane this year.  She was someone I was not very close to, but it's really crazy how so many people have died in my family within such a short time span.  I get very anxious these days because of this.  It makes me realize how fragile human life is.  It's also made me annoyed at people who don't realize life is too short to be angry, and pissed off about trivial things that don't matter.  

That aside this week hasn't been too bad...so far anyway.  I don't think I've really dealt with my grandmother's death yet.  I mean I went to the funeral, and everything, but I feel like I still haven't come to terms with everything.  

The one positive thing to happen this week is I got my computer fixed.  Due to everything that's been happening I kept putting it off, but my mom found a near by place that fixes computers, and took it by there for someone to look at it.  He found that it just needed cleaning, and that's why the fan was running so much.  He cleaned it out over the weekend, and I ended up picking it up yesterday.  It feels nice to use my newer computer again, and not have suffer through using the old one.  

Well that's all for now.  

I want to thank everyone for the kind words, and condolences in my previous post.  My family is having a hard time dealing with this.  My nephew was a good kid, and we all miss him dearly.  I remember texting him on his birthday, and his bright smiling face.  The local news station came by this morning wanting to talk about what happened.  My sister is having a very hard time.  I haven't really grieved about it yet, and had a hard time sleeping last night.  It just doesn't seem real.