illusion_is_mine: (HQ!: Noya)
 This past week was okay, and Happy Easter and Passover to all those who celebrated it.  I had to work, but I ended up getting off early.  My mom is still recovering from her surgery from last week.  She's doing better though.  

Okay so I want to rant about one of my coworkers that I've been talking to for a while.  I started chatting with Eric after asking him if he played a certain game series.  Little did I know he'd follow me to all my lunches, and breaks, and generally come of as annoying.  I really just talk to him to pass the time, but I get really annoyed at the fact that he says things like.
 
Him:  You should do democracy too. (He's obsessed with politics, and volunteers for local politicians campaigns, and what not.)
Me:........................

I do not like anyone telling me what I should be doing.  I'm a bit of a rebel at heart, and I don't like to be told what I 'should' be doing by people who barely know me.  Needless to say It's taken all my resolve to not go off on him a few times.  He also told me one day that I "Jump around from game to game too much.  You need to stick to one game."  Like guy, who the fuck are you?  Seriously there is no correct way to play video games.  Most people play games to unwind, relieve stress, and just chill out.  I've heard many people say that they play whatever games they're in the mood for at that time.  That's how I am.  Needless to say I don't feel like I should have to explain myself to him.  My problem is that I'm too nice, and I never respond appropriately when he says things like this.  I guess it's going to take him saying the wrong thing one day for me to go off on him.  He needs to take a cold hard look in the mirror and realize he's far from perfect.  I could easily point out many of his flaws, but I'm not that type of person.  

Basically in short he's a typical "gamer guy", and he lacks self awareness.  Most of the people at my job can't stand him, and now I see why that is.  He has a horrible personality, and he's just plain boring.  I just wish he would leave me alone.  I always seem to attract people that I'm not interested in at all.  I also blame him for the crush avoiding me probably assuming I'm just like him (which I'm not.)  I don't know, but I wish he would leave the hell alone.  I liked it better when I sat by myself at lunch, and no one bothered me...lol.
illusion_is_mine: (Default)
 This weekend was honestly really stressful.  At work last Friday we had a Christmas Party, and exchanged Secret Santa gifts.  Apparently my Secret Santa didn't like her gift, and responded with "That's it?"  when she saw the gifts I'd bought her.  I always thought Christmas was supposed to be less about the gift, and more about the thought of giving, but apparently that was lost on this person.  Needless to say I had a lot going on last week.  My nephew's murder trial was last week, and I was stressed about that.  I also had another family member on my mother's side pass away recently.  I think because of that I got really emotional when I found out she didn't like the gift, and I cried.  I cried for about 30 minutes, and I was still at work so I was more frustrated with myself because I couldn't stop crying.  My sister saw how upset I was, and asked if she'd said anything to upset me.  

I told her it wasn't her, but what that other woman said about my gift.  I just couldn't believe that someone could be so thoughtless, and dismissive of someone's feelings to say what she said about her gift, even though I really tried to get her something nice.  I was so pissed/frustrated/angry and I guess my emotions just spilled over.  This incident has made me decide to not extend my kindness to people who aren't kind to me.  I'm so tired of being nice to people, and literally getting shit on.  Part of my depression has to do with me being bullied throughout school, and I can't stand people who treat other people horribly.  I probably won't even do the whole secret Santa thing again because of this situation.

     I did hear from a coworker that people on night shift got the same thing from some of their Secret Santa's and have talked about not participating next year.  Why are people so shitty?  I swear some people make me want to live in complete seclusion from the rest of civilization.  People mistake my kindness for weakness.  I've always been a very sensitive, considerate, and caring person and it's caused people to think they can walk all over me.  Well that will not ever happen again I can assure you. 

My blood pressure was really up yesterday and I think it had to do with that situation.  I took the day off work today to try to feel better.  I slept most of the day because I was tired.  My mom mentioned that I didn't look well so I'm glad I took the day off.  Also it was really cold this morning.  I believe it was 19 Degrees which is pretty cold for Texas.  Well that's all for now. 

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illusion_is_mine

About

I'm a 32 year old woman. I'm an artist, and I'm into the Gothic subculture. Things that I enjoy include but are not limited to 80's Music, Reading, Drawing, Animation, Playing bass guitar, Gothic rock, indie music, horror films, anime, comics, video games, and sci-fi novels. I don't know what I'd do without music, and art. I listen to Siouxsie and the Banshees way more than I should.