illusion_is_mine

     This week was okay.  My step-sister stayed over on Saturday, and had a bit of an episode.  For anyone that doesn't know my step-sister has down syndrome, and autism.  She can't really communicate with people, but she does understand what your saying when you tell her to do things, It just takes her longer to respond.  Anyway I was telling her that I would turn on a DVD she wanted to watch after she went to take her bath.  I don't know what happened but she sort of screamed at me really loudly, and scared the shit out of me.  Anyone who knows me knows that I hate confrontation, and violence of any kind.  I know I listen to really heavy, abrasive music but I sort of think of it as an outlet to channel some of my negative emotions in a more positive way.  

     Anyway I ran out of the room, and explained to my mom what happened.  We're not sure why she got upset because I didn't raise my voice or anything.  We've always had a rocky relationship since her mom didn't bring her around much.  I told my mom I think she's jealous of the relationship I have with my dad, or possibly my mom.  Her mother died of cancer about a year ago, and she had a really hard time dealing with things after that.  My mom also told me that my older sister told her she was jealous of me because I went to college, and she never got to go.  I was slightly surprised to hear that, but it was something I was already aware of.  The reason my mother didn't want to send my sister off to college mainly had to do with my sister being irresponsible then.  My mom felt like she wouldn't take care of her bills, and didn't want to take out any loans to pay for her to go.  I do wish people would understand that while it might seem like I had things easy that I had my own demons I was dealing with.  Quite frankly they don't know the half of it, but yeah.  As for my step-sister I think part of it is her illness is getting worse.  She's been having more outbursts like that lately mainly directed at me.  It's frustrating.  

     As far as other things the X-Files new season aired last night!  I almost missed it, but I saw it just as it was about to come on and I ran in my room and changed the channel to FOX.  It was really good.  OMG my feels considering how long it's been since I've watched The X-Files.  I have to go back and watch some of the older episodes now.  I've also been re-watching some old episodes of Sailor Moon for nostalgia purposes.  I remember when that aired on TV years ago.  Good times.