illusion_is_mine

 I finally decided to upgrade my laptop to Windows 10 from Windows 8.1.  I'm liking the interface so far.  It looks so much better than 8.1 in terms of overall aesthetic.  I also plan on upgrading the ram on this thing.  That's something I've been intending to do for a while, but I've just now decided to go ahead and do it.  

That aside my friend and I are planning on having a day of checking out video game stores, and going to the movies on the 11th of December.  She told me she would buy me a new game for my Christmas gift so you know I'm pretty hyped about that.  We haven't really hung out since May, and she has a very demanding job (she's a 911 Operator.)  So I'm really looking forward to seeing her. :)

In other news I bought Xenoblade Chronicles 2, and I've been really enjoying it so far.  I've seen people complain about how it looks in handheld mode for the Nintendo Switch, but I think it looks fine.  Sure it doesn't look as good as Doom, or Breath of the Wild, but I think it looks good enough.  It looks great in docked mode anyway.  Also I'm loving the controls, and overall gameplay.  The only thing I really hated immediately was the English VO.  The character that voices Rex in English doesn't really suit him at all.  That being said I decided to download the DLC for the Japanese audio, and play it in Japanese with subs. 

I've also been listening to lots of music, and practicing guitar a bit.  Here's a band that I really like that I discovered recently thanks to post-punk.com.  Also a few links to a few other songs I've been enjoying.( Read more... )

Last night I played a round of Dark Souls 2, and the game completely obliterated me.  I was really trying to learn about how the leveling up works, the inventory, and overall combat.  Overall it was just a practice run, but It really makes me realize how long it takes you to get better at that game overall.  I'll be taking a break from it since I pre-ordered Super Mario Odyssey for the the Nintendo Switch, but it was good to get some practice in.  

I did manage to take Mass Effect 2 back to get a refund on Saturday to Half-Priced books. I ended up picking up Killzone (PS2), and 2 CD's: AFI's "Sing the Sorrow" since I'd been intending to buy it for years, and never gotten around to it until now, as well as MeWithoutYou's "Pale Horses".   I also ordered Trivium's "The Sin and the Sentence" from Amazon.  

Since I read about this anyone hear about Jessicka Addam's from Jack Off Jill's FB post basically saying that Twiggy Ramirez a.k.a. (Jeordie White) of Marilyn Manson, and a Perfect Circle raped her while they were dating?  I thought i was very heartbreaking.  I sort of had an idea since she indicated it in a few JOJ songs, but I had no idea what actually happened.  My heart goes out to her, and any victims of sexual assault.

Speaking of that one of the huge gaming forums Neo-Gaf shut down recently because apparently the site owner was accused of sexual assault.  Apparently most of the mods jumped ship after the news was released, and many people who frequented the forum asked to be perma-banned.  I mainly just lurked on the gaming news side of that forum, but never joined.  I heard it was really hard to join anyway because they had very strict requirements for joining.  I'm glad I never did after hearing about these allegations.  They were also a bit of an echo chamber when it came to certain topics.  They would ban people for having different viewpoints from the mods which is pretty idiotic.  I sort of understand why they were so strict, but it got ridiculous after a certain point, and then this happens.  

I do hope they out all these sexual predators in the entertainment business though because it's just horrible how often this happens.  Really it happens everywhere, but you get what I mean. 

Today I'll probably play a few games, listen to music, and just chill since it's Monday.  I'll catch you guys later.  

Well I've been sick with a nasty stomach virus for the past few days.  Today is the first day that I don't feel completely awful so I think it's run it's course.  I basically slept most of the day yesterday, and last night.  I'm feeling a bit better today at least.  

As for other things I've started playing Half-Life 2 on steam, and I'm enjoying it so far.  I've been meaning to play this game for a while since I enjoy quite a few fps games, but I don't have an Xbox, or a PS3 so I figured I'd play it on PC.  It's probably one of the most enjoyable experiences I've had with an older fps game.  I played it for a few hours yesterday, and plan on playing it a bit today.

As for other things I bought a new set of drawing pencils so I plan on drawing more stuff again.  I go through long periods of artist block due to depression, but I finally feel like I want to start drawing again.  Art school actually sort of burned me out on doing my own work as well since I was working so hard to finish my portfolio.  I'm glad I got past that phase a bit, and I plan to start some new projects soon.

That's all for now.  I'm going to go browse youtube, and play a few games.  

 My grandpa's funeral turned out to be really nice.  He was a veteran that fought in Vietnam so he had a military burial, and they gave my aunt a US flag, and did the whole folding of the flag.  I will point out that religious funerals are always strange to me since I'm not religious at all.  I'm agnostic so I don't have a problem with it completely, but it's still strange to me.  I mean the eulogy the pastor gave didn't really count as a eulogy to me.  It was just telling people that they need to "get right" before their time comes.  I sort of have cognitive dissonance when it comes things like that.  Most people here are religious, and I can't say anything about it without it turning to an argument so I just keep it to myself.  

After the burial I decided to go home, and chill.  I'd had my fill of dealing with people all yesterday, and needed some alone time to sort out my thoughts.  I also played a bit of Nier Automata, and Fallout 4.  I'm not sure why I still play FO4 at this point because I think the story is pretty lame, but I guess I just want to finish the game, and loot things...lol.  I also started playing Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga, and I've been enjoying it so far.  I feel like I'm finally getting the hang of the battle system in SMT games which makes me happy.  

As for Nier I kept getting my ass handed to me by this boss in particular.  I'm playing it in Normal mode, and this boss is still quite difficult.  I've almost got it though.  I think I'll try my hand it again today.  I plan on spending much needed quality time with this game for a while.  

     Here's a post that isn't completely about E3.  This morning I got up, and called my doctor because I could have sworn I had an appointment this morning, and they hadn't called or notified me.  It turns out my doctor's appointment isn't until next Wednesday.  After that I went back to sleep for a little while, and got up to make me some coffee.  I did a few chores, and checked my emails an social media stuff.  
( Mario trailer under the cut )

     My mom decided to have my birthday dinner yesterday evening at Olive Garden after I'd gotten off work.  We got there around 6pm, and everybody was already there mostly.  It was super crowded which made a little anxious.  While we waited for a table I checked twitter for E3 updates since it already started.  We were seated soon after, and my niece Shelbi was unusually quiet for some reason.  My sister mentioned it was because she wasn't a fan of pasta, and she didn't know what to get.  We talked a bit about movies.  My mom, and I had just seen Wonder Woman, and recently Get Out so we talked about those movies.  

     The food finally came, and we ate.  My food was pretty good, but Shelbi wasn't too happy with hers because some of her food was cold.  She kept trying to get the waiter's attention, but he kept forgetting her salad dressing, and extra cheese.  To be fair it was really crowded so he probably had a bunch of tables to wait.  My sister mentioned an activity her, and her friends had recently done in which they went to a hotel played a game that was sort of like "Clue" in which you had to guess who the killer was.  It sounded super fun actually.  Apparently there were actors there, and they didn't know which people were actors so it played out like a live game of Clue.  We also talked about our upcoming trip to Panama that's coming up.  I'm really looking forward to that.  After that we paid for the dinner, and stood outside for a while and talked after my sister's boyfriend showed up to wish me a happy birthday.  Since I'd been to work that day I was really exhausted.  My sister gave me a $25 gift card to Target so mom, and I decided to make a trip to Target before we went home.  I picked up a shirt for my dad for father's day, a cute Mario/Yoshi shirt for myself, and PS4 dual controller charger.

    Now for E3 roundups.  The only panel I watched so far was Microsoft's panel talking about their new system coming out (XBox One X I believeit's called.)  They also talked about a bunch of exclusives for the system.  These are the games that I thought were interesting so far.  I think a lot of these are timed exclusives?  That's what I keep hearing anyway.    I'm mostly waiting for Sony's panel at 5pm today, and Nintendo's panel tomorrow.  I'm super hyped for any Nintendo Switch releases.  At first I wasn't too sure about all the Wii U ports being put on the Switch, but honestly more games is always a good thing.  I've never owned an Xbox system so I'm not sold on the Xbox One X tbh.  I've considered buying one of the older systems in the future though because of Half-Life 2, Halo, and a few other franchises that I've never played.  I'm really looking forward to seeing sony's exclusive announcements like maybe The Last of Us 2 since I really loved the first game.  We'll see what happens. :D  

     I hope everyone enjoyed their mother's day weekend.  Mine was okay, but I had a bit of stress at work.  Remember that person at work that wouldn't leave me alone?  Yeah, she's still at it.  Yesterday when I was working the lights in our area went out.  It scared the crap out of me because my anxiety was really bad yesterday.  Needless to say when I looked up from my cubical I saw that creepy girl, along with another girl standing next to the light switch.  So she's harassing me when I work now?  At this point I'm going to go to my sister and tell her to set her straight and leave me the fuck alone.  I don't care why she's doing it at this point I just want her to stop.  I don't understand people like this at all.  I go to work, and don't bother anyone.  I know that she'll probably deny everything, but it's better to have my sister confront her since she's in management, and they're on friendly terms.  I actually told my sister about this previously, but she didn't take me seriously because "She's really nice."  Well she's nice to you, but she's an asshole to me.  Hopefully this will make her finally leave me the fuck alone.

    On a more positive note I bought my mom and Barnes and Nobels gift card for $25 since she likes reading on her tablet, and a really cute mother's day card.  They all went to my grandmother's house on mother's day, but I decided to go home since I was on edge yesterday.  I was so exhausted mentally from what happened at work I didn't have the energy to deal with anymore people.  

    Also I've been progressing in Persona 5 I'm glad to say.  I finally feel like I'm getting used to the gameplay now.  I've made a few confidants, and I feel like I'm finally forming bonds with them.  I've also been trying to finish Breath of the Wild, but I have one more minor boss to defeat before I head to Hyrule castle.  He ended up being tougher than I thought so I'm going to try to figure out a strategy and beat him today.  I also bought an Assassin's Creed game since the games were on sale on the Playstation store this previous weekend.  I bought Assassin's Creed Syndicate, and I'm really enjoying it so far.  Here's the trailer for the game.   I love steampunk stuff so this game is something I could really get into.

As for music I've been listening to Code Orange's "Forever", Siouxsie and the Banshee's "Superstition", The Creature's "Bestiary of", Balance and Composure "Separation", Title Fight "Hyperview", BTS "You Never Walk Alone", Chevelle "Wonder What's Next", Delain "The Human Contradiction", The Twilight Sad "No One Can Ever Know", and Depeche Mode "Songs of Faith and Devotion".  I need to do a post with my favorite albums I own on Vinyl now that I'm thinking about it.  It'll probably come in the near future.  

My birthday is in a few weeks!  I took that week off work, and I'm glad I did.  I will need that vacation from the stress of work considering what's been going on lately. 

I bought a copy of Persona 5 on Monday when mom, and I went to the store.  I have to say I"m enjoying it so far.  I feel like a need a break from Breath of the Wild since I'm close to finishing it.  For those of you who aren't familiar with the game series here's a trailer of the game.  The opening animation is really gorgeous, and I love the motion graphics they used for the text.  The music is superb, and really fits the feel of the game.  So far I like the fighting system.  I do want to check out some of the older Persona games whenever I get the chance to.  Also Sakura-san is a complete jackass..lol.  I just thought it rant about that haha. 


I've also been playing Mario Kart 8 deluxe.  I realized I couldn't really play it in handheld mode for long periods of time because it was slighly uncomfortable.  That aside I'm really enjoying it though. 

 This week was very exhausting for me.  Luckily I didn't push myself too much, and ended up resting a lot yesterday when I got home from work.  I also played a lot of Breath of the Wild, and got a few Shrines out of the way.  I'll just update with bullet points to make things easier.  

• I was initially going to practice guitar yesterday after I got home, but I was so tired I just crashed.  I had a few ideas for some songs I've been trying to learn that I wanted to try out.  I'll probably practice today sometime.  

• The pharmacy that I get my prescriptions at keeps messing up my prescriptions, and didn't have mine ready yesterday despite it being on automatic refill.  My mom also was waiting on medication that they didn't have filled, and she informed them that I can't miss my medication because anti-depressants, and all that.  Needless to say I might be changing pharmacy's very soon.  I'm just tired of them always screwing up all the time.  

• Surprisingly enough my wisdom tooth just stopped hurting today.  My guess is that it was trying to grow in, and that's why I was experiencing the intense pain.  I'm still going to make the appointment because I want it out, but I'm glad it finally stopped bothering me.  I can eat cookies again xD!

• I woke up at 4am this morning, and decided to just play Zelda lmao.  I did accomplish a few things so I'm glad.  I still need to start on Chrono Trigger since I finally got my physical copy, and continue with Horizon Zero Dawn, and Fallout 4.  Basically I have my word cut out for me finishing any of these games.  2017 why do you keep releasing really great games this year!?!?  I need to finish the games I have.  I do want to check out Persona 5, but not until I finish at least one the games I'm already playing (which prob won't be Fallout 4 because that game is impossible to finish.) 

• I've been binge watching a show on Netflix called "13 Reason's why", and I'm almost done with it.  I really feel bad for the girl in that story, and everything she went through.  Shows about suicide hit close to home for me because I was suicidal at one point.  I never attempted it or anything, but I get in really dark places in my head sometimes, and I have to get myself out of that way of thinking.  

• I've been listening to a lot of music lately.  Mainly The Novembers, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Draconian, Goatbed, Pat Benatar, Balance and Composure, Title Fight, Sukekiyo, Ogre you Asshole, Nujabes, Chelsea Wolfe, Code Orange, Public Image ltd, and Plastic Tree.  Here's a song by a band I've been listening to called The Fin. from Japan.  They have a sort of lo-fi nostalgic feel to their music that I like.  This video is really nice too. :)( Read more... )

 This week was exhausting for me.  I swear everyday I came home from work I went straight to sleep.  I'm not sure why I've been so tired, but today I'm feeling a bit better and less tired.  I think it was because this weekend we had that birthday dinner for my mom, and I ended up having to drive.  If there's one thing you should know about me it's that driving stresses me out a bit.  We ended up having to sit in traffic which was fine.  Apparently an SUV had turned over, and it looked like a bad accident.  I do hope that the people were okay.  I had a hard time finding the restaurant because they'd changed a lot of things since I'd been to that part of town.  I finally saw the sign while we were driving around, and proceeded to park.  After I parked someone pulled up right next to me giving me no time to react.  I was frustrated after that, but my mom told me later that the reason I had trouble parking was because there was a black truck already parked to my right that was parked wrong, and all over the line.  People here drive like idiots I swear.  That aside we had a great time at the restaurant for my mom's birthday. 

Other than that I did some drawing early yesterday morning, and it felt good.  I might post some of my doodles, or random drawings sometime whenever I get the chance to scan them.  

Oh and I got my passport in the mail for my trip.  I'm super exited about going to Panama now!  It's going to be fun.  :)

Also I've been listening to more music lately.  I got my spotify account back so now I can listen to new albums whenever they come on streaming.  I read somewhere that Tool was going to start putting there music on streaming services.  That's super awesome!  There are a few albums, and EP's of there's that I haven't listened to that I want to hear.  So I'm looking forward to that.  As always been listening to a lot of Deftones, and also Type O Negative, Paradise Lost, and some Lacuna Coil.  Speaking of LC they just put out a new video for one of my favorite tracks off their new album.  I like the video a lot.  They've been doing a lot of darker concepts with the newer album, and I like it a lot.  Also can Cristina get any more attractive?  I swear...that woman is so gorgeous.  Speaking of that my friend swears that I have a thing for Italian women...lol.  I never thought about it, but she could be on to something. ;)

Someone asked to see my gaming setup so here are some pictures.  ( gaming setup pics )