illusion_is_mine

Hey folks,

Truth be told I haven't really been motivated to post anything since I last posted which has been a while. I figured I would update about what's been going on with me. I'm still alive and kicking somehow even though life tries to throw me a few lemons every now and then.

As for what I've been into lately it's the same old things for the most part. I watched this movie around Halloween time, and I enjoyed it quite a bit.

( Read more... )
I have to say it was very unsettling, which something I go for when it comes to horror type movies. I really enjoyed it though. I'm looking forward to seeing what Jordan Peele has to offer in his future film endeavors.

As for other things I've still been into gaming, but not so much into Fallout these days. As you might be aware of Bethesda (the game studio that makes the current fallout games), has been sort of beating the franchise into the ground with Fallout 76. I did play it for a little while, but I got really burned out on it after starting a 2nd character. I've mostly been playing The Outer Worlds, which is a game that was created by some of the guys who did the original Fallout titles (Fallout 1, and 2.) That game is fantastic, and I've been loving it so far.

I've also been listening to a ton of different music like usual, but a lot of post-punk stuff.

I'm getting ready for the holidays, but I haven't started Christmas shopping yet. I'm dreading it tbh, because it's so financially draining buying Christmas presents. I've decided to only shop for immediate family, and friends this year. That seems to be the way to go this year. 

I started my vacation this week from work, and I've been mostly taking it easy, and staying in since it's been quite cold lately.  I'll post a few quick updates about what I've been up to.

• I bought Fallout 76 a few days ago, and despite how many poor reviews the game is getting I've been enjoying it a lot.  I have to say this is the first multiplayer game I've played where majority of the people I met in the game were friendly, and helpful.  I did have one experience with someone being a jerk, but I've had more good experiences than bad. 

• I met a guy last night when my character was exploring Morgantown Airport, and he ended up being pretty cool.  He was frustrated because he told me that I was the only person that actually talked to him over the mic.  He said everyone else had their mics off, and he felt like the game is about teamwork, and helping each other.  We completed the quest, and eventually his game froze, and that was the last I saw of him.  I've met a few nice people throughout my gameplay, and I'm pleasantly surprised with how nice most of the fallout fans are.  If any of you guys are playing the game on Xbox One and wants to team up you can send me a message.  My gamertag is: EternalNoir1985

• Thanksgiving is next week, and we're having it at our house.  I can't say I'm thrilled about it because most of the time I always have to clean up when everyone leaves, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it I guess.  My family, and holidays usually equals family drama, but hopefully not.  

• My mom has been sick with the flu most of the week, but she's finally doing a lot better today.  I've been making sure to check up on her, and see how she's been doing throughout the day.  

• Well that's all for now.  I'm going to watch some video game streams, and probably go play some more Fallout 76.  Later guys.

Hey guys,

Long time no post I know. I've been somewhat busy for the most part, but I finally got a chance to sit down and make a new post. As you can see I've been playing lots of Shadow of the Tomb Raider, and I've been loving it so far. This game honestly feels more like the classic Tomb Raider games than any of the reboot titles so far. In this game Lara has kick-started the apocalypse by accident, and has to make things right. Aka typical Lara Croft moment. Here's a nice gif from the game.







As for other things I've been mostly working, and doing normal boring adult stuff. I bought a few vinyl records recently. I was surprised this online independent record shop had albums by Toe, a Japanese post-rock band I've been into for years. I was happy to find that both records were limited edition colored vinyl, and they both came with digital downloads. I also bought a limited edition version of the new Zeal & Ardor record "Stranger Fruit." I have a picture of it in all it's beautiful glory. I love purple so this edition was a must buy for me, and the record is one of my favorite metal albums of 2018 so far.

( Stranger fruit... )

As for other things I went to the doctor last week for my follow up appointment, and the doctor said my blood pressure was really good.  I've been trying to watch what I eat, and avoid too much fast food.  I'm glad to see it's finally paying off.  I plan to start exercising, but I need to build up the motivation to do it.  It's tough the older you get, but I really do need to for my health.  I also need to start doing some more artwork, and updating my deviant art page regularly.  I think I should take it one step at a time and try not to push myself too hard.  I'll figure it all out I guess.

I guess that's all for now.  

 I figured I'd post a few quick updates to let you guys know what's been going on with me.  

• My dad has his surgery this friday, and I'm a bit anxious about it.  This will be a pretty serious surgery so his recovery will be longer, but hopefully everything turns out okay.

• Things have been going well at work lately.  The only thing that's been going on outside the norm is that creepy guy finally stopped talking to me.  I think that's a good thing.  I think I finally pissed him off enough that he just leaves me alone...haha.  
• I beat one game in my backlog!  I know that it's just one among many but hey it's something.  The game was Tomb Raider (2011), and I'm glad I finally finished it.  Now I can really dive into Octopath Travler on my Switch.

• I've been listening to tons of music lately.  I've been really feeling nostalgic about 90's ska/punk so I've been listening to a lot of that.  I used to love that stuff as a teen and I just sort of fell off as I got older.  Bands like The English Beat, No Doubt (mostly Tragic Kingdom), The Clash, The Selector, Streetlight Manifesto, Black Flag, and Catch 22 to name a few bands.  

• I've also been listening to a lot of goth music, but that's nothing new...lol

• I joined discord a few months ago, and I've really been enjoying it!  I'm glad I found some great servers with friendly people that I can chat with on the regular. 

• Finally saw Avengers: Infinity War, and I enjoyed it.  I didn't love it as much as most people, but I'm not super into the Avengers either so I figured I wouldn't go crazy over it.  I do want to know what happens in the next movie since this one felt like it was unfinished.  I'm assuming they're making another movie, but I'm not sure XD! 

 This week was okay I guess.  My dad did end up coming home last Wednesday, and he's going to be having his surgery in a month or so.  It's not as soon as he wanted, but the surgeon is on vacation so that's why they couldn't do it sooner.  He's been doing good, and has been off work so he's had a chance to rest, and recover.  

As for me I've been good.  I had a coworker that annoyed the hell out of me the other day.  The creepy guy that won't leave me alone he an insufferable personality, and apparently he can't enjoy things that take him outside his comfort zone.  He's also super competitive, and immature.  I've actually considered avoiding him altogether because I feel like it's a waste of time talking to someone like him.  Even though we both like video games that's honestly the only thing we have in common, and we have completely different taste in everything else.  Plus he creeps me out, and he legit wears the same clothes everyday.  I usually don't care about stuff like that, but it's like dude you have a job you can afford to care about how you look.  I'm starting to wish I would have never talked to him in the first place.  I even gave him a sort of *hint*, and told him I seem to attract "strange people", and he goes "I'm not that strange", and my response was "If you say so...".  

An old coworker texted me this morning, and mentioned we should have lunch one day.  I was really glad to hear from her because we ended up getting along really well when she worked here, and I'd been wondering what she was up to.  She told me I'd been on her mind which was nice to hear. :)

As for other things I've been reading a new manga I just started called "Black Clover", and I'm really digging it.  I love all the characters, and it's about magic so of course I'm all in.  

As for music I've been listening to all sorts of different stuff.  I honestly couldn't pin point it to one specific genre or specific artists since my tastes has been all over the place lately.  I've been listening to The Fin's newest album, and I've been digging it.  Here's a song from one of their previous albums that I really like called "Till Dawn". 

In other news I'm really excited about the new Tomb Raider game coming out this year "Shadow of the Tomb Raider."  I wasn't too excited at first, but after seeing this video it made my hype level go up quite a bit.  I know a lot of people don't care for the TR reboots, but I honestly love them.  I do not miss the old Tomb Raider games at all, and I grew up on them.  The new games are a breath of fresh air tbh.  

     So this week was my first week back from my vacation, and it was alright I guess?  Last Friday was really rough for me because it seemed like my anxiety, and depression were trying to get the better of me.  It was also that way because a male coworker that I talk all the time to basically gave me the cold shoulder for no reason that day.  He has an annoying, and unpleasant personality anyway so I wasn't surprised that he turned out to be a POS.  Of course the next day he came in all chipper, and talkative like he didn't just brush me off the day before.  I swear he's super toxic, and my current goal is avoid him as much as possible from now on.  For a little backstory he's the guy I've mentioned a few times that acts like he's obsessed with me despite me making it pretty clear that I have no interest in him.  

     That aside I've been getting more guitar practice in since my surgery, and it feels good to start playing again.  It's a lot easier to just pick up the acoustic, and play a few songs since it's not as heavy as the electric guitar.  

    Despite everything I've been doing good overall.  My birthday turned out great, and it was nice to spend time with family and friends.  I'm looking forward to E3 this week to hear about new Nintendo Switch games.  I'm also cautiously optimistic about Bethesda's conference.  I'm curious about the new Fallout 76 game, but I'm not sure if it's a must buy yet until I find out more about it.  Also with my birthday money I ended up buying the Black Panther movie on DVD, and Red Dead Redemption the Game of the Year Edition.  I haven't re-watched Black Panther yet, but I did start Red Dead, and it's a really cool game. 

   As for music I've been listening to lots of metal lately.  It's probably due to my mood this past week, but yeah.  Mostly I've been listening to Before the Dawn, Chelsea Wolfe, Dir en grey, Oceans of Slumber, The Birthday Massacre, and Buck-Tick.  I've had this Ocean's of Slumber song on repeat lately.  I really love their new album a ton.  They sort of remind me of The Gathering a bit which is pretty neat. 

   Also happy Pride month!  :D

Hey guys.  I'm in the recovering stage after my surgery, and I'm doing better.  I mostly slept all day after I had the surgery, and the few days after that were rough.  This week is a lot better though because I'm in a lot less pain.  I get my stitches taken out on the 17th so it should be smooth sailing after that.  The scar still hurts a little bit, but it's not nearly as bad as it was right after the surgery. 

I've mostly been playing lots of Farcry 5, and God of War.  I've been progressing pretty well through both games.  I've been having a blast playing them both so far.

As for music I've been listening to a bit of everything.  I bought the album "Boxer" by The National and I've been digging it so far.  Also Haley Kiyoko's newest album "Expectations" has been on heavy rotation on my iPod lately.  I love her whole aesthetic, and her videos are really gorgeous.  The women in her videos are all really hot.  The girl has good taste xD!

     This week was good actually.  I had a weird depressive episode at the end of my shift yesterday, but that does happen to me every so often.  

     Speaking of work one of my coworkers I talk to has been sort of annoying me lately.  His name is Eric, and he started following me around to my breaks and lunches after I asked him a simple question (I asked him if he played any Dark Souls games.)  Apparently the guy is a hardcore gamer, and enjoys hanging out with me.  It's normally not a problem, but he has some personality traits that annoy me just a bit.  That being said I guess it's better than eating lunch alone...lol.  He's an okay dude to talk to at work anyway.  

     Needless to say I found out the reason my ex-crush was acting the way he was because he doesn't like Eric at all.  I guess since I hang out with Eric he had a problem with it?  I don't know honestly, but I never realized how petty some guys could be until this situation happened.  It's like dude I can hang out with whoever I want.  Especially considering the fact that the crush doesn't really talk to me much besides polite formalities.  If he likes me he should just say so, and stop with the annoying passive aggressive behavior one day, and being overly nice to me another.  I can't deal with that type of behavior at all.  My coworker said she heard him mentioning that he doesn't have a gf so I'm not sure what the truth is with him.  Basically it's team no one right now.  I'll just keep doing me, and if people don't like it then that's on them. 

     Quoting Marina "You make be good looking but you're not a piece of art."  That's how I feel about the crush at this point.  I'm realizing even though he's good looking he has horrible personality traits, and it might be best if I just steer clear.  My friend is convinced he's a fuck boy, and she's probably right.  

     That aside I've been playing lots of Fallout 3 since I got my GOTY edition for my Xbox 360.  I also bought the Mass Effect Trilogy and decided to start that series properly by starting in order.  

     I'm finally going to see Black Panther tomorrow with my mom.  I'm excited!  Especially after hearing how great of a film it is.  I guess that's all for now.  Also yay for "Get Out" winning best screenplay at the Oscars last night.  It deserved it because it's a great film. :)

      This week was okay.  My coworker came back to work last week so I don't feel so overwhelmed.  I actually made a new friend at work who loves gaming as much as I do.  We mostly hang out during our lunches, and breaks and just talk about gaming stuff.  

    Speaking of gaming stuff I bought Monster Hunter World lasts week after I got paid.  It's my first MH game, and I'm really enjoying it so far.  It was a lot to take in at first, but I'm getting used to the controls, and overall gameplay.  My friend has a bunch of the MH games on the 3DS so she's been helping me with any questions I have about the game series.  I've also been playing lots of Nier Automata, and Dark Souls II as well.  My new friend Eric was the one who told me to finish Nier.  He's a PC gamer, and he said it was currently his favorite game last year.  After I started playing it again I really do see why he loves it.  It's a really beautiful game with a fantastic soundtrack.  I wanted to get the vinyl edition of the soundtrack, but the price was a bit more than what I wanted to pay so I decided against it.  I have the digital edition of the soundtrack on my computer for now.  

      My iPod classic is dying so I bought a new mp3 player through Amazon.  I'm supposed to get it today so I'll let you guys know how I like it.  It has bluetooth capability so that's pretty neat.  I decided to move all my music to another music player that isn't iTunes so I could transfer some music to it.  

    On another note I've been practicing with my new guitar.  I'm currently learning "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac, because I've always liked the melody to that song. 

     Anyone else hyped for the new Black Panther movie coming out in a week?  I won't get to see it opening week, but I'll probably go see it the following week.  ( trailer )

 So I want to talk about my situation with the guy I have a crush on at work.  Which honestly is a non-situation, but being my anxiety-ridden self I'm making it more than what it is.  For the past few days he hasn't been speaking to me which I find sort of strange.  I'm not sure if I come off as sort of distant when I talk to him, but it's not because I want to be.  It's definitely my social anxiety.  I sort of freeze up when he confronts me, and I never know what to say.  My mom gave me some pretty good advice which was to treat him like everyone else, and then the nervousness would dissipate some.  So when I go to work this week if he doesn't say anything to me I'll speak to him, and ask him how he's doing.  I'll try that and see if it works.  

Honestly, I hate feeling like this because it's the sort of thing that keeps me up at night.  I never want to feel like I'm being mean, or rude to people.  It effects me on a deeper level.  

On a lighter note, I've been playing lots of Fallout 4, and Borderlands the Pre-Sequel lately.  I realized that I needed to finish the main quest on FO4 so I started playing it again.  I bought the season pass a while back so that increased the amount of things I need to do in game.  Overall I'm enjoying it though.  Fallout has easily become one of my favorite game franchises.  I'm a sucker for anything post-apocalyptic related anyway.  I also need to finish Fallout 3, and New Vegas as well. 

Well that's all for now.  Here have a song. :)