illusion_is_mine

     Yesterday evening when I was driving home from work I noticed a silver BMW that was driving like an idiot, and tailgating this truck.  I didn't think too much of it since they weren't in my lane.  After a while I glanced over where they were driving and all of a sudden I noticed smoke coming out the bottom of their car.  Then their car started spinning out of control, and and myself along with most of the cars on that part of the highway stopped when they noticed the car loosing control.  They crossed four lanes of traffic still spinning, and I was grateful I stopped because if I hadn't they would have ran right into me.  They finally landed in the grassy area just off the highway, and was able to halt the car without crashing into anyone miraculously.  

     I must mention that it was incredibly windy that evening, but I'm not sure it was the wind that caused that to happen.  Needless to say I'm glad no one was hurt, and they didn't hit anyone.  I think some people stopped to see if they were okay.  No more brushes with death anymore please...  My anxiety ridden self would probably have a stroke if I had another accident.  D:  

 So this will be a short update of what's been going on with me lately.

• My aunt left for Afghanistan last Friday.  Right now she's on the military base in El Paso so she hasn't left the country yet. She sent a group text to my sister, my mom, and a few other family members this morning saying that she wanted to come home, and that she didn't qualify for training.  She said things are really hectic on the military base with everything that's been happening, and that she doesn't want to go.  My sister and my cousin are talking about driving to El Paso to pick her up.  I do hope she can come home.  I was really worried when she mentioned where she would be going.  She sounds like she's trying to come back home so I'm glad that she probably won't be going to Afghanistan.  
• I took advantage of the flash sale at the Playstation Store had over the weekend.  I ended up buying The Last of Us (Remastered), Dishonored (Definitive edition), and Wild Arms 3.  I also bought Blaster Master 0 for my Nintendo Switch.  I really love The Last of Us, Wild Arms 3, and Blaster Master 0 so far.  I'm also still playing Breath of the Wild, but I'm taking my time and just exploring stuff.
• I watched One Punch Man, and Ranma 1/2 a bit yesterday.  I've been behind on anime so I enjoyed that quite a bit.  Ranma always cracked me up with how much trouble he would get himself into, or make Akane super pissed at him.  
• As for music I've been listening to lots of Chelsea Wolfe lately.  If you haven't heard of her she's probably one of my favorite newer artists out right now.  I love how dark her music is, and the ambiance of it.  I think the guitar pedals add a nice effect to her overall sound.  Here's a video of her performing one of her songs off her newer album "Abyss" called "Survive".  ( You said you won't fall apart... )

 This week was very exhausting for me.  Luckily I didn't push myself too much, and ended up resting a lot yesterday when I got home from work.  I also played a lot of Breath of the Wild, and got a few Shrines out of the way.  I'll just update with bullet points to make things easier.  

• I was initially going to practice guitar yesterday after I got home, but I was so tired I just crashed.  I had a few ideas for some songs I've been trying to learn that I wanted to try out.  I'll probably practice today sometime.  

• The pharmacy that I get my prescriptions at keeps messing up my prescriptions, and didn't have mine ready yesterday despite it being on automatic refill.  My mom also was waiting on medication that they didn't have filled, and she informed them that I can't miss my medication because anti-depressants, and all that.  Needless to say I might be changing pharmacy's very soon.  I'm just tired of them always screwing up all the time.  

• Surprisingly enough my wisdom tooth just stopped hurting today.  My guess is that it was trying to grow in, and that's why I was experiencing the intense pain.  I'm still going to make the appointment because I want it out, but I'm glad it finally stopped bothering me.  I can eat cookies again xD!

• I woke up at 4am this morning, and decided to just play Zelda lmao.  I did accomplish a few things so I'm glad.  I still need to start on Chrono Trigger since I finally got my physical copy, and continue with Horizon Zero Dawn, and Fallout 4.  Basically I have my word cut out for me finishing any of these games.  2017 why do you keep releasing really great games this year!?!?  I need to finish the games I have.  I do want to check out Persona 5, but not until I finish at least one the games I'm already playing (which prob won't be Fallout 4 because that game is impossible to finish.) 

• I've been binge watching a show on Netflix called "13 Reason's why", and I'm almost done with it.  I really feel bad for the girl in that story, and everything she went through.  Shows about suicide hit close to home for me because I was suicidal at one point.  I never attempted it or anything, but I get in really dark places in my head sometimes, and I have to get myself out of that way of thinking.  

• I've been listening to a lot of music lately.  Mainly The Novembers, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Draconian, Goatbed, Pat Benatar, Balance and Composure, Title Fight, Sukekiyo, Ogre you Asshole, Nujabes, Chelsea Wolfe, Code Orange, Public Image ltd, and Plastic Tree.  Here's a song by a band I've been listening to called The Fin. from Japan.  They have a sort of lo-fi nostalgic feel to their music that I like.  This video is really nice too. :)( Read more... )

 This week was exhausting for me.  I swear everyday I came home from work I went straight to sleep.  I'm not sure why I've been so tired, but today I'm feeling a bit better and less tired.  I think it was because this weekend we had that birthday dinner for my mom, and I ended up having to drive.  If there's one thing you should know about me it's that driving stresses me out a bit.  We ended up having to sit in traffic which was fine.  Apparently an SUV had turned over, and it looked like a bad accident.  I do hope that the people were okay.  I had a hard time finding the restaurant because they'd changed a lot of things since I'd been to that part of town.  I finally saw the sign while we were driving around, and proceeded to park.  After I parked someone pulled up right next to me giving me no time to react.  I was frustrated after that, but my mom told me later that the reason I had trouble parking was because there was a black truck already parked to my right that was parked wrong, and all over the line.  People here drive like idiots I swear.  That aside we had a great time at the restaurant for my mom's birthday. 

Other than that I did some drawing early yesterday morning, and it felt good.  I might post some of my doodles, or random drawings sometime whenever I get the chance to scan them.  

Oh and I got my passport in the mail for my trip.  I'm super exited about going to Panama now!  It's going to be fun.  :)

Also I've been listening to more music lately.  I got my spotify account back so now I can listen to new albums whenever they come on streaming.  I read somewhere that Tool was going to start putting there music on streaming services.  That's super awesome!  There are a few albums, and EP's of there's that I haven't listened to that I want to hear.  So I'm looking forward to that.  As always been listening to a lot of Deftones, and also Type O Negative, Paradise Lost, and some Lacuna Coil.  Speaking of LC they just put out a new video for one of my favorite tracks off their new album.  I like the video a lot.  They've been doing a lot of darker concepts with the newer album, and I like it a lot.  Also can Cristina get any more attractive?  I swear...that woman is so gorgeous.  Speaking of that my friend swears that I have a thing for Italian women...lol.  I never thought about it, but she could be on to something. ;)

Someone asked to see my gaming setup so here are some pictures.  ( gaming setup pics )

 So this week was okay.  This past Saturday my friend Elisabeth, and I went to the movies to see Logan.  It turned out to be really good!   I was really impressed with the plot, and the acting of the girl who played is daughter.  Word of warning if you're going to see this movie it gets very emotional towards the end.  In marvel fashion people stayed after the credits only to realize that there was no extra footage after the movie ended lol.  During the previews they showed a preview for a movie called "The Circle."  The plot seems super interesting, and totally up my ally since I tend to like dystopian type plots.  After that we grabbed a bite to eat, and we decided to call it a night.  

As for music I've been listening to the "Self Titled" Deftones album a lot lately.  I really dig the first track off that album a lot.  Their music always makes me wish I had a 7 string guitar.  I love their overall sound a lot.  I've also been listening to My Dying Bride, and a little bit of K-pop here and there because it keeps me awake at work.  

As for gaming I just recently purchased the HD Remaster of the first Resident Evil game, Mortal Kombat XL, and Battlefield 4.  I've been enjoying all of them so far.  Resident Evil looks really good remastered, and I've been working my way through the mansion pretty easily as Jill.  The first time I played it I played it as Chris, and failed miserably because he doesn't get nearly advantages as Jill does initially at the start of the game.  As for Mortal Kombat XL I was pleased that I still remembered a lot of the characters combos from the older games.  The fatalities are a lot easier on the newer game which sort of makes me sad, but it's not a huge issue.  The game is really gorey, but of course that doesn't bother me in the slightest.  I like the single player content for this game a lot more than Street Fighter V.  Capcom could take a lesson from this game on how to make decent single player content for Street Fighter in the future.  

Also I finally managed to get a copy of Xenoblade Chronicles for the Wii!  It's arriving today in the mail so I'm looking forward to it. :D

As for books I have kindle unlimited for 60 days so I've been taking advantage of that.  Right now I'm still reading "Ash" by Malinda Lo, Valis by Philip Dick, "Between Heaven and Hell" by David Burnett, and Lord of the Flies by William Golding.

    My week was surprisingly good.  I've had a new rule when it comes to idiot people in public, or at work  I just ignore them.  I downloaded a NES emulator app for my phone, and that's been a good distraction from people lately.  In particular the psycho girl at my job that I felt like was stalking me at a certain point even took the hint.  I've also realized that I get along better with people a lot older than me, as opposed to people my own age.  It's always been that way for me honestly.

My parents and I have been trying to get everything ready for the Panama trip this summer.  I'm excited about leaving the country for the first time.  I need a break from Texas.  The people here put me in such a foul mood sometimes I feel like I need a vacation from this place.

I bought some new video game stuff.  I've been on a huge final fantasy kick lately (like most days), and I decided to complete some of my FF collection and get these guys.

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Also I got these because my last gameboy I bought didn't have a backlit screen so I settled for this Japanese Gameboy Advance SP in blue.  Also These 2 games, as well as Street Fighter V which isn't pictured here.  I still have a few issues with the way Capcom is marketing SFV so I'm slightly pissed off at them.  They basically thought it was a good idea to charge you for like 2 separate seasons of DLC which is criminal.  Luckily for me the Playstation store had season 1's dlc on sale for $9.99 so I went ahead and bought season 1.  I got that deluxe edition of Titanfall 2 for only $25 on ebay brand new.  I've been finding some great deals lately.  Titanfall 2 is amazing so far!  I love how they expanded on the last game, and made a one player campaign mode for this one.  

Aside from video games I've been listening to a bit of music.  I've been listening to lots of Balance and Composure, Code Orange, Anathema, Kamelot, Katatonia, Lacuna Coil, D'espairsray, Title Fight, and a few others.  

Also I heard the new Linkin Park song, and it's not what I expected from them.  I think they've forgotten they're a rock band...lol.  I mean I guess it's not completely terrible for a pop song, but it's not what I would expect from them.  Needless to say I probably won't be buying their new album.  I guess I should have predicted they would go more in this direction considering the past few singles they've been putting out.  I do like the female vocals in the song a lot more than Chester's.  If she wasn't in the song it would probably be really boring.  Chester's vocals have really gone downhill in the past couple of years.  

 This past week was exhausting but I got through it.  It wasn't so much anything happened really, but that I'd been sick earlier this week so I had to recover.  I have a slight sinus headache today, but I did take something for it.  I'll probably rest later to fully get rid of this annoying headache.

As for other things I've been looking for a chair for my room.  Something that's comfortable that I can fold up and put away since my room is rather small.  The one I actually bought from Target looks something like this.  I haven't used it yet, but I'm mostly looking forward to using it for gaming.  I was sitting on my bed to play games, but I needed something to support my back a bit so I settled on this chair.  I'm going to use it tonight when I play FFXV, and a few other games that I've bought recently.  I also bought Resident Evil 4 which I've been wanting to check out for a while.  I've been a fan of the Resident Evil game franchise for a while now.  I would say ever since I played Resident Evil 2 on the Playstation when I was younger.  I also downloaded Fire Emblem for my android phone since it was free on the google play store.  I've been wanting to check that game out for a while now.  

Other than gaming I've been listening to music, and what not.  I've been sort of neglecting my guitar, but  I plan to fix that this week.  So far I've learned quite a few songs on guitar.  I just learned "Zombie" by The Cranberries, and "A Forest" by The Cure.  The Cure has honestly been my go to band for learning songs on guitar.  I really like their overall sound, and some of the first songs I learned were Cure songs.  I've also been listening to a little bit of K-pop, and Neo Soul type stuff.  My taste is all over the place depending on what mood I'm in.  My current favorites are Code Orange's "Forever" album, The Final Fantasy VII OST, "Peripheral Vision" by Turnover, "Ashes Against the Grain" by Agalloch, "The Sound of Perseverance" by Death, "A Kiss in the Dream House" by Siouxsie and the Banshees",  and "Coll:set" by D'espairsRay.  On a random note I noticed H&M has this Siouxsie shirt.  I was surprised that they had a Siouxsie shirt, but I guess they had a Joy Division shirt so it's not that surprising.  I kind of rolled my eyes at the holes in the shirt cause I guess they're trying to appeal to hipsters or something.  I always thought punk was about the whole DIY thing.  I mean I modified my own Siouxsie shirt, and the idea of buying a shirt with pre-existing holes has never been appealing to me.  If I want a certain look I figure I can do it myself.  But I guess today's youth lack that certain initiative that we had in the past.  

I'm still reading "Ash" by Malinda Lo, and it's getting interesting.  I've just gotten to a part where a major character was killed, and that made me a bit sad.  It happened pretty suddenly.  Either way the story is developing nicely.  

 Yesterday I had to go to Jury Duty because I'd gotten a summons earlier in the month.  Most people (including myself), really hate serving on a jury here, but people acknowledge that it's a good thing to have a jury of your peers.  I was really anxious that I would get picked, and had been dreading it for a while.  So when I got there they had everyone sit in a massive sized jury room, and we waited...and waited, and waited.  My god the waiting was probably the worst part.  I sat next o some old guy who kept acting like he didn't want me to touch him for some reason, and another lady.  I'm used to older white people here being bigots so that didn't phase me one bit.  I took out my phone, and opened my NES emulator app and started playing Legend of Zelda to distract myself.  

After away they picked people for the first few trials, and then we were told we were "taking a break until 10:30", much to the dismay of everyone there.  I got up and went to the restroom, and came back.  I made sure to sit somewhere else where I wouldn't have to sit next to anyone cause (people = nope), and continued playing Zelda.  Eventually a really nice lady came and sat next to me, and asked me if I'd done this before.  I told her I had, and that I'd served on a civil trial for 3 days.  She told me she'd served on a trial for 5 days, and that she'd gotten used to the whole jury process at this point.  After the break the announcer guy tells us that we were all free to go, and then goes "Wait!  I think we have one more trial!" which was quite annoying.  I was pretty certain they would call my number since I was juror 312, and they were getting close to the 200's.  I caught a very close break when the last trial ended at number 299.  Then they called a roll call of the people that were still there, and we were told we could leave.  I was relieved  that I hadn't been picked, because the time for the last trial didn't start till 1pm, and the people that were there had to wait until then to go up to the court room.  

I left the parking garage and encounter some rude driver who came the wrong gate and proceeded to jump in the turning lane in front of me.  After the whole getting up early, dealing with everything I'd decided that I deserved to treat myself, and stopped to get myself a burger because I was hungry.  I was so glad to be home after that was over. I really hate getting picked for jury duty.  My anxiety goes into overdrive, and I just want to get the fuck outta there.  

 

So I'm sure you guys are tired of hearing me talk about games lately, but I just got a new console so I'm very excited XD!  So here's a picture of everything I have so far.  I've gotten a chance to play 2 of the 3 games you see here, and I love them both!  I played Tomb Raider first which was very exciting, and has really nice visual effects.  Then I played a few other free games from the Playstation store.  

Getting a subscription for Playstation Now made me realize how expensive it can be for someone who's hardcore into gaming.  Needless to say I cancelled my subscription to Playstation Now because I figured it wasn't worth it for what I wanted to get out of my gaming experience.  For now I'll just buy the physical copies of games I want and leave it at that.  I have 2 more games that I ordered coming in probably next week.  I finally broke down and bough FFXV because the demo was super fun, and Dragonball Z Xenoverse cause I'm a huge fan of the series.  I really like the whole open world environments on FFXV.  It really enhances the overall playing experience.  I will acknowledge that the plot is non-existent, or rather not clear if you haven't seen the movie/anime adaptation, but it's still an enjoyable game to play nonetheless.  

After that I played Uncharted 4, and it looks amazing!  Half the time I can't tell whats part of the cinematic, and what's the game because everything looks so nice.  To give you an idea of how it looks here's a gif.  ( Read more... )

Other than gaming my parents had a new alarm system installed today, and it's very good.  We can operate it from our smart phones, which is something that is becoming more common place nowadays.

For the most part I've been enjoying my vacation from work, and playing video games mostly.  It feels good to be able to rest, and breath for a while without being stressed out like crazy.  Gaming has also been distracting me from thinking about politics which is a good thing considering all the craziness that's been going on lately.  Maybe I'm at the point where I have some sort of cognitive dissonance about how fucked up everything thing seems now.  I'm not sure, but for my sanity I'm trying not to focus on the negative.   I will try to make a post that's not about video games in the future. lol.  

 So I did a bit of early spring cleaning today, and ended up finding my credit card for my health benefits I'd been looking for!  I was like "OMG!  Now I don't have to pay out of my ass for my medication, or to go to the doctor."  My health insurance has a really pricey deductible so I was still trying to pay that down, and that made my payments for my meds, and doctor visits somewhat expensive.  I was paying out of pocket which I really couldn't afford.  This is great because my job contributes money to this particular card, and gives you incentives if you don't smoke and other things.  This means that I can use that card, and not have to spend my own money on medical expenses.  Needless to say my 2017 is getting off to a decent start.


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As for gaming this my collectors edition of FFXII came in the mail recently, and the packaging is pretty snazzy.  It comes with a bonus dvd with special features.  I've never seen packaging like this for PS2 games so I was impressed with the case xD!  

In other news I never did any recaps for my favorite albums of 2016 so I'll do it now.  I'll just list them in no particular order.

• ( favorite albums of 2016 )

I think that's about it.  If it's not here then I haven't listened to it yet.  I still have a few albums from last year that I need to listen to fully.  I like to give albums my full attention.  I can say I'm defiantly more of an album person more so than a singles person.  I really dig that Touche Amore record a lot.  It's about the vocalist's mother who died of cancer so you can really fell the singer's pain in a lot of the songs.  These are a mixture of different albums from different genres.  I just put them all there together because it's easier.