illusion_is_mine

     So the show Westworld has officially got it's hooks in me, and hasn't let go.  My mom mentioned it to me last night asking if i'd ever watched it. It was the 3rd time someone asked me about it so I figured I would check it out.  I was pleseantly surprised to see Anthony Hopkins in this so that also peeked my interest.  I will also admit I have a bit of a crush on Evan Rachel Wood XD!  That being said  the show is phenomenal.  I would explain it, but the best I can do is it's like an irl role playing game where rich people go to this theme park called "Westworld" to live out their fantasies.  The "hosts" at the park are synthetic beings who start to question their existence, and then all hell breaks loose.  It's a great show, and I highly recommend it if you have HBO.

     I'm also hearing very good things about the new God of War game.  I haven't gotten the game yet myself, but I will be this upcoming weekend.  I have a day off on Saturday for my Dad's birthday so I plan on getting a little gameplay time in that day, or Friday night.  I know most people are really excited about the new Avengers movie, but honestly I'm not a huge Avengers fan.  I'm also really burned out on super hero movies tbh.  I mean I'm a huge fan of comic books, but I think there are just too many super hero movies/shows out these days, and I don't really get excited to see those type of movies/shows that much anymore.  I probably just need a break from them in general.

Here's a trailer for Season 1 of Westworld.  The show does have some graphic sexual content, and violence.  So basically a regular HBO series...lol.  

 This past week was okay, and Happy Easter and Passover to all those who celebrated it.  I had to work, but I ended up getting off early.  My mom is still recovering from her surgery from last week.  She's doing better though.  

Okay so I want to rant about one of my coworkers that I've been talking to for a while.  I started chatting with Eric after asking him if he played a certain game series.  Little did I know he'd follow me to all my lunches, and breaks, and generally come of as annoying.  I really just talk to him to pass the time, but I get really annoyed at the fact that he says things like.
 
Him:  You should do democracy too. (He's obsessed with politics, and volunteers for local politicians campaigns, and what not.)
Me:........................

I do not like anyone telling me what I should be doing.  I'm a bit of a rebel at heart, and I don't like to be told what I 'should' be doing by people who barely know me.  Needless to say It's taken all my resolve to not go off on him a few times.  He also told me one day that I "Jump around from game to game too much.  You need to stick to one game."  Like guy, who the fuck are you?  Seriously there is no correct way to play video games.  Most people play games to unwind, relieve stress, and just chill out.  I've heard many people say that they play whatever games they're in the mood for at that time.  That's how I am.  Needless to say I don't feel like I should have to explain myself to him.  My problem is that I'm too nice, and I never respond appropriately when he says things like this.  I guess it's going to take him saying the wrong thing one day for me to go off on him.  He needs to take a cold hard look in the mirror and realize he's far from perfect.  I could easily point out many of his flaws, but I'm not that type of person.  

Basically in short he's a typical "gamer guy", and he lacks self awareness.  Most of the people at my job can't stand him, and now I see why that is.  He has a horrible personality, and he's just plain boring.  I just wish he would leave me alone.  I always seem to attract people that I'm not interested in at all.  I also blame him for the crush avoiding me probably assuming I'm just like him (which I'm not.)  I don't know, but I wish he would leave the hell alone.  I liked it better when I sat by myself at lunch, and no one bothered me...lol.

     This week was good actually.  I had a weird depressive episode at the end of my shift yesterday, but that does happen to me every so often.  

     Speaking of work one of my coworkers I talk to has been sort of annoying me lately.  His name is Eric, and he started following me around to my breaks and lunches after I asked him a simple question (I asked him if he played any Dark Souls games.)  Apparently the guy is a hardcore gamer, and enjoys hanging out with me.  It's normally not a problem, but he has some personality traits that annoy me just a bit.  That being said I guess it's better than eating lunch alone...lol.  He's an okay dude to talk to at work anyway.  

     Needless to say I found out the reason my ex-crush was acting the way he was because he doesn't like Eric at all.  I guess since I hang out with Eric he had a problem with it?  I don't know honestly, but I never realized how petty some guys could be until this situation happened.  It's like dude I can hang out with whoever I want.  Especially considering the fact that the crush doesn't really talk to me much besides polite formalities.  If he likes me he should just say so, and stop with the annoying passive aggressive behavior one day, and being overly nice to me another.  I can't deal with that type of behavior at all.  My coworker said she heard him mentioning that he doesn't have a gf so I'm not sure what the truth is with him.  Basically it's team no one right now.  I'll just keep doing me, and if people don't like it then that's on them. 

     Quoting Marina "You make be good looking but you're not a piece of art."  That's how I feel about the crush at this point.  I'm realizing even though he's good looking he has horrible personality traits, and it might be best if I just steer clear.  My friend is convinced he's a fuck boy, and she's probably right.  

     That aside I've been playing lots of Fallout 3 since I got my GOTY edition for my Xbox 360.  I also bought the Mass Effect Trilogy and decided to start that series properly by starting in order.  

     I'm finally going to see Black Panther tomorrow with my mom.  I'm excited!  Especially after hearing how great of a film it is.  I guess that's all for now.  Also yay for "Get Out" winning best screenplay at the Oscars last night.  It deserved it because it's a great film. :)

      This week was okay.  My coworker came back to work last week so I don't feel so overwhelmed.  I actually made a new friend at work who loves gaming as much as I do.  We mostly hang out during our lunches, and breaks and just talk about gaming stuff.  

    Speaking of gaming stuff I bought Monster Hunter World lasts week after I got paid.  It's my first MH game, and I'm really enjoying it so far.  It was a lot to take in at first, but I'm getting used to the controls, and overall gameplay.  My friend has a bunch of the MH games on the 3DS so she's been helping me with any questions I have about the game series.  I've also been playing lots of Nier Automata, and Dark Souls II as well.  My new friend Eric was the one who told me to finish Nier.  He's a PC gamer, and he said it was currently his favorite game last year.  After I started playing it again I really do see why he loves it.  It's a really beautiful game with a fantastic soundtrack.  I wanted to get the vinyl edition of the soundtrack, but the price was a bit more than what I wanted to pay so I decided against it.  I have the digital edition of the soundtrack on my computer for now.  

      My iPod classic is dying so I bought a new mp3 player through Amazon.  I'm supposed to get it today so I'll let you guys know how I like it.  It has bluetooth capability so that's pretty neat.  I decided to move all my music to another music player that isn't iTunes so I could transfer some music to it.  

    On another note I've been practicing with my new guitar.  I'm currently learning "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac, because I've always liked the melody to that song. 

     Anyone else hyped for the new Black Panther movie coming out in a week?  I won't get to see it opening week, but I'll probably go see it the following week.  ( trailer )

 So I want to talk about my situation with the guy I have a crush on at work.  Which honestly is a non-situation, but being my anxiety-ridden self I'm making it more than what it is.  For the past few days he hasn't been speaking to me which I find sort of strange.  I'm not sure if I come off as sort of distant when I talk to him, but it's not because I want to be.  It's definitely my social anxiety.  I sort of freeze up when he confronts me, and I never know what to say.  My mom gave me some pretty good advice which was to treat him like everyone else, and then the nervousness would dissipate some.  So when I go to work this week if he doesn't say anything to me I'll speak to him, and ask him how he's doing.  I'll try that and see if it works.  

Honestly, I hate feeling like this because it's the sort of thing that keeps me up at night.  I never want to feel like I'm being mean, or rude to people.  It effects me on a deeper level.  

On a lighter note, I've been playing lots of Fallout 4, and Borderlands the Pre-Sequel lately.  I realized that I needed to finish the main quest on FO4 so I started playing it again.  I bought the season pass a while back so that increased the amount of things I need to do in game.  Overall I'm enjoying it though.  Fallout has easily become one of my favorite game franchises.  I'm a sucker for anything post-apocalyptic related anyway.  I also need to finish Fallout 3, and New Vegas as well. 

Well that's all for now.  Here have a song. :)

     Well hey dw long time no see.  I don't post on this nearly as much as I should, but I think I've gotten out of the habit of blogging as often as I used to.  Happy New Year to you all.  My holidays were actually pretty good.  I got a really cool acoustic guitar from my dad, and a new tablet.  I also bought tons of video games that I really need to get into.  I was supposed to go in to work this morning, but it was below freezing, and the roads were awful this morning so I called in.  I hope everyone has a great 2018 considering how much of a mess 2017 was for a lot of people.

I've decided not to do a new years resolution this year.  I'll just try to be the best me that I can be, and be kind to everyone.  I like how the Black Mirror official twitter put it in this tweet.

It's hard to imagine a bright future, but we can and we must.

— Black Mirror (@blackmirror) December 28, 2017

Here's some music for your enjoyment.  They played this song after the end of the Black Mirror episode "Hang the DJ", and I it was awesome.  I've been on a Smiths kick lately so enjoy.  Morissey's dancing is so bad in this...lmao.

 

 Yestersday my friend and I went shopping, and she let me pick out my Christmas gift.  She ended up getting me Assassin's Creed Origin for the PS4, and this really cute BOTW Link nendoroid. Needless to say I'm going to be pretty hyped when I open that gift!  We're supposed to exchange gifts the day after Christmas.

After that we headed to the local used book store, and I ended up picking up a couple of really interesting books. The most interesting book was this one about abandoned places in Japan.  I love how each page had a description of the people who lived in this places, and exactly what went on there, and possibly why they left.  I'm a huge history nerd so I've always been fascinated with old buildings.  The photos so are gorgeous.  Here are a few pics of some of them with my phone.  ( abandonded japan pics )




Afterwards we went to a local seafood place had lunch, and talked mostly.  She's been having a hard time adjusting to her new job, and she's also been dealing with some serious family issues.  That's the main reason I haven't seen her since May.  She's been working tons of overtime, and she's been under a lot of stress.  I told her it was understandable, and that I was glad to be there when she needed me.  She talked for a while, and it made me realize how everyone just wants someone to vent to every now and then.  That we all need that.  I told her about everything that was going on with me, and we decided to call it a day.  

We then headed back to my house, and played a bit of Mario Kart on the Switch, and I showed her a few games I was playing currently.  After that I dropped her off back home, and told her I had a great time.  It was really nice to catch up with her, and hang out together since it had been a while since we last saw each other.  

Last but not least here's a band I discovered this morning thanks to Revolver Magazine's twitter posting about them.  I'm digging their sound overall.  They call themselves Cholo goth which sort of made me lol, but whatever works for them I guess XD!  

I'm really not a fan of holidays to be honest.  Mainly because there's so much preparation involved, and overall stress that is going to the store, and getting food, and cooking.  I also think it's a combination of having to look after my mom, and doing all the cleaning, and cooking.  My dad helps, but he's pretty clueless when it comes to a lot of housework stuff.  For instance I had to show him how to wash his clothes.  It wasn't a problem, but I guess I figured he already knew.  It turns out he'd never washed clothes before so I tried to explain everything as much as I could.

Today at the store some lady kept standing right on the back of me when I was in the check out line.  I gave her sort of a "wtf are you doing?"  look, but for some reason she never moved.  So I moved as much as I could.  To be honest the lady was pissing me off.  I don't get why people are so horrible, and shitty around holidays.  Human decency doesn't go out the window just because you decided to buy stuff at the last minute.  I swear people get on my nerves.

That being said I have a few family members over right now, and they're cooking stuff for tomorrow.  I'm making the ham so it's boiling on the stove at the moment.  I'll be glad when Thanksgiving is over so things can get back to normal.  The older I get the less I enjoy holidays.  

I finally received my pre-ordered copy of Super Mario Odyssey for the Switch this past Friday. I played it a bit, and my cousin showed up with her kids, and I let her sons play 2 player mode with the joycons. They had a complete blast, and actually got further than I did when I was playing it. I called in sick to work today because I'm feeling sick, and under the weather so I decided that I would make a day of playing it today. :)

My dad just informed me this morning that he bought me a blue acoustic guitar for Christmas! I'm pretty excited to get it since I've been lowkey wanting an acoustic guitar since I started playing guitar. It would be perfect to practice on during the day since it's an acoustic. My mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and I've been trying to decide. I think I want a decent gaming chair with back support so I could have something comfortable to sit in while I'm playing games or doing whatever.

Halloween is coming up, and I'm excited since I'll be off work this time. I don't really dress up or anything, but I love to have a marathon of horror movies on that day. I also might make a special post of some of my favorite albums to listen to on Halloween since my record collection has grown quite a bit. It will consist of Christian Death, Bauhaus, Siouxsie and the Banshees to name a few.

Also anyone listened to the new Epik High album yet? It's fantastic, and really reminds me of their old stuff. It's a lot more somber than the last album. I do like it a lot more than Shoebox, and I enjoyed Shoebox quite a bit. I'll probably be picking up a physical copy when I can. Here's a video of one of the songs.( Home is far away... )

    Our relatives from Colorado are visiting this weekend, and they're gone out with my mom to a bunch of places I guess.  I don't know but I'm still very salty about how they treated us when we went to Panama this summer.  I know I shouldn't hold grudges, but They basically left us hanging in a foreign country, and had a guy basically screw us out of a lot of money for transportation, among other shady things.